Umkam Ungoyeni Mhlobo wam Usenyongweni
KweIi nqaku uEarl Suttle ongumyeni kaFelicia Mabuza-Suttle oyindwalutho kweli uvakalalisa indlela ayithanda ngayo inkosikazi yakhe, ekwachaza nendlela osebenza ngayo umtshato wabo abantu abaninzi baseMzantsi Afrika abanemibuzo engaphendulekiyo ngawo - phofu ke naye uyavuma ukuba ukheb wanawo amaxesha okuthandabuza
N
 DITSHATE nebhinqa elikhethekileyo, nelinenjongo ekhethekileyo ebomini. Abantu abaninzi banemibuzo abazibuza yona ngomtshato wethu. Babuza ukuba: indoda engqongqo entsundu ingamvumela njani umfazi wayo omhle kangaka bangahlali ndawonye nabantwana babo?
Nangona nam ndikholelwa ekubeni iintsapho zifanele zihlale ndawonye, akho amnaxesha apho uye ubone ukuba kulungile ukungakwenzi oko. Owethu umtshato ngomnye wemitshato enomahluko, nenamaxesha anomahluko okuba iinjongo zobomi ibe zezona zinikwa ingqalelo ngaphezu kweemfuno zosapho.
Kufuneka ube uvuthiwe kwaye ube ngumntu oqiqayo ukuze wamkele imeko yokungahlali nomkakho nokunyamezela intlungu ehambisana nako. lntlungu endithetha ngayo yeyokulala kumandlalo obandayo neyokungatyi ukutya okushushu okuphekwe ekhaya, nokuzifumana usitya ukutya okubandayo iintsuku ezininzi. Oko kuquka nokuba kude nomnye ningakwazi ukuthetha nijongene nize niphile ngokufowunolana, ukuthumelelana iifeksi nee-email.
Ngequbuliso ndazifumana ndingutata ozimeleyo okhulisa abantwana abangamantombazana ababona unina kabini okanye kathathu ngonyaka. Kum naba bantwana kube yeyona meko inzima leyo ekuye kwafuneka siyamkele.
Xa ndandidibana noFelicia eMonneapolis ngaphezu kweminyaka engama-23 edlulileyo, wandiphandla ndiqala ukumbona. Wathi xa endincumela kwangathi ndiyaqala ukuncunyelwa libhinqa. Ndandingazi ngoko ukuba ukudibana kwethu kuza kuthi ngokuhamba kwexesha kusenze sihlale kwiindawo ezahlukoneyo yaye kufuneke simelane nezinto ezibangelwa yiloo nto.
ezevalentines day
:; U)



L)
L)

.
Enye yeefoto ezithandwa nguFelicia apho wafotwa ekunye noEarl
- ugcina umyalezo okhethekileyo wothando esipajini sakhe ukuze uhlale umkhunm buza
ngothando lwabo.
78 BONA XHOSA - February 2000
Kungoku nje siqaqelene ngomgama ongaphezu kwe-l 6 000 eekhilomitha. Ndikhulisa abantwana bethu ndedwa eAttanta. UFelicia uhlala yedwa eJohannesburg eMzantsi Afrika apho aqhuba inkqubo yakhe yengxoxo kumabonakude. Kuyo yonke loo nto sitshatite naye.
Ndifanele ndivume ukuba akhe akho amaxesha, ebuncinaneni kathathu, kule minyaka mithandathu idlulileyo apho bendikhe ndigqibe ekubeni siwuqhawule umtshato naye ngenxa yentlungu yokungahlali naye, nokuqonda indlela ebuhlungu ngayo l00 nto kuthi. Kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo nciithe ndisekuloo ntlungu umhlobo wam wathi mandifunde iBhayibhile. Kwincwadi yabaseRoma 8:28:

Siyazi ukuba zonke izinto zisebenziselana okulungileyo
kwabo bamthandayo uThixo. kwababiziweyo ngokwengqibo
yakhe.

La mazwi andiqinisekisayo andincede kakhulu ngamaxesha obunzima. Andinike amandla omphefumlo okuxhasa umkam kwinjongo yakhe ebomini kwaye andenze ndaxola kukungahlali kwethu ndawonye.
Oko satshatayo noFelicia ubesoloko ezinikele ekuncedeni
abantu. Wayekufuna ngamandla ukubuyela eMzantsi Afrika
aze kuba nabantu belizwe Iakhe lokuzalwa.
Xa uNelson Mandela wayekhululwa entolongweni emva kweminyaka engama-27 evalelwe, usapho lwaIuyibukele kumabonakude loo mini nangabanye abantu baseMelika. Kwaba yinto emnandi ukubukela uWinnie esamkela umyeni wakhe xa ephuma entolongweni emva kweminyaka emininzi ekhulisa abantwana eyedwa, yaye elilolo. Ngelo xesha ndandingazi ukuba ngokuhamba kwexesha nomkam uza kubuyela elizweni Iakowabo aye kufaka igxalaba kulwakhiwo ngokutsha loMzantsi Afrika - thina asishiye ngasemva.
Emva kwentetho yokuqala kaNelson Mandela eyaba yimbali, kuyo owayebongoza bonke abantu baseMzantsi Afrika abahlala kwamanye amazwe ukuba babuye bazokwakha uMzantsi Afrika omtsha, uFelicia wandijonga waza wathi: Sithandwa ndicela ukuphindela elizweni lakowethu ndiye kunceda. Uyandivumela?
Andizange ndithandabuze, ndathi kuye, Hamba ilizwe
lakowenu likufuna ngaphezu kwam okwangoku.
Besithi qho xa sibonana naye ndifumane ukuba usenolwa ncumo luthandekayo owayenalo xa ndandidibana naye eminyakeni engama-23 edlulieyo. Ngoku kukuthanda kwakhe uMzantsi Afrika okwenza olo ncumo lungepheli. Xa ndijonga indlela onwabe ngayo ndiyaqonda ukuba ndenza okulungileyo ngokumkhuthaza emsebenzini wakhe.
BendidJa ngokuthi xa sisohtukana besincokola efowunini, ndithi, Ndiyakuthanda, sithandwa sam. Mvanje ndivalelisa kuye ngokuthi, Ndiyakuthanda sithandwa sam, kwaye ndineqhayiya ngawe.
Ngenye imini siya kuze siphinde sihlale kunye
njengosapho sizalisekise iinjongo zethu eMzantsi Afrika.
Esipajini sam ndinekhadi elinomyalezo endiwufunda
kakhulu ngemini nondomelezayo nobangela ulwalamano
lwethu Iuhlale lukho:

Felicia wam othandekayo, Onobubele, onenkathalo,
othembekileyo, nompheki ogqwesileyo, Usoloko
ukhathazekile ngentlalo yethu.
Ungumama ozinikeleyo
Umhlobo wam osenyongweni, (uncumo)
Ungumthuthuzeli womphefumlo wam,
Enenzondelelo engenasiphelo, neyomeleleyo emphefumlweni

UFelicia ungoyena mntu ubalulekileyo ebomini bam.

icatshulwe kwincwadi ethi Felicia: Dare To Dream ebhalwe
        Felicia Mabuza-Suttle nomebe Kalafeng (Zebra Press
Back & White Publications; ixabisa i-R89,95)
	I	I	•
oKwevWentine s
day
Xa abantu
ababini
abaselula
bedibana baze bathandane, uthando luvutha amalangatye baze bonwabe ebomini


lndibino
Bazikhuphe
nabahlobo
bayabonana
ngokukhawuleza
kukho
ukhuphiswano
olukhona

EZENENEKAZI:	ihempe
etshekhi ebomvu
namhlophe: kwaDDE, ixabisa i-R165, ipedalpushers ezimhlophe:
kwaDDE, zixabisa i-R180,
EZENENE:	lbhlukhwe
yedenim ebomvu kwaDDE, ixabisa i-R380, iquantec shirt ekhakhi:
iALC yakwaDDE, ixabisa i-R200, umnqwazi obomvu: kwaDDE, ixabisa i-R100.
Ukuqaici
ukuncamisana
Umoya ushushu upho!ile . iimvakalelo zakhe zishushu

EZENENEKAZI:	llokhwe
ebomvu eyenziwe
eMpuma Koloni:
yakwaDDE, ixabisa i-R380.
EZENENE:	ihempe ekhaki: ALC yakwaDDE, ixabisa i-Bukeka
UmhIeIi
Bukeka inguwe ncakasana nge Valentines Day - lungela
idinga lelantshi
obungayilungele okanye
idinga lesidlo omenyelwa kuso
ngoncuma naye. Ezi ndlela
zokubukeka umhle nezilula
•	ukuzenza zezona kulula ukuzikhetha


Kuthambile kokwabasetyhini
Oku kubukeka kusebenza kakuhle xa unxibe iimpahla zokusebenza eofisini mihla le ukanti kuthambile kuthandeka xa unedinga ngevalentine.
Ubuso:Gudisa ubuso bube nebala elifana konke usebenzisa isof n Free Foundation in Chocolate, okanye zama
iRevlon Oil Free Foundation in
Mahogany. lzidlele zithamba
kakuhle xa usebenzisa iRevlon
Blushing Complexion in Toast.
Amehlo:	Ukwenza imake-up yamehlo ngokukhawuleza
nalula, yeyeke ieye pencil
Khetha ibrown okanye
iberry toned shadow
ukuze uyihambise
