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BONA ZULU - February 2008
Ungalokothi usole ingane ngokuhlushwa yiziqhwaga - umuntu ozenza isiqhwaga nguye osuke enenkinga.
Ukuhlushwa yiziqhwaga kungalimaza impilo yomntwana wakho impilo yakhe yonke. Funda ukukuqeda lokhu...
UBUQHWAGA bungaholela esimweni sokucindezeleka, nokungabikho kokuzethemba nasekuzibulaleni. Buyisono esibi esingadicilela impilo yengane yakho phansi. Emhlabeni jikelele, ubuqhwaga ezikoleni yinto esithanda ukuphuma esandleni ngenxa yokwenyuka kwezinga labo.
Yini edala lokhu, yini futhi engenziwa abazali ukuqeda lesi sihlava ukuze bavikele izingane zabo"
UMbongeni Mtshali onguthishanhloko eVelabahleke Secondary School eMlazi, KZN, uthi njengoba umthetho-sisekelo wethu omusha unika izingane amalungelo, kodwa awuzikhuthazi ukuba zimele izibopho zazo.
"Ukuhlukunyezwa abanye abafundi ezikoleni yinto ekade yaba khona, kodwa njengoba sekwaqedwa ukujeziswa kwezingane ngokuzishaya, into esesiyenza wukuba sikhulume nabafundi abangaziphathi kahle - lokhu ngesinye isikhathi akusebenzi kahle," kusho yena.
Labo abahlukunyezwayo, bagcina ngokuzithathela umthetho ngezandla zabo. Ukuchaza leli phuzu, uMnuz Mtshali wavele wakhipha ubhushi ekhabetheni lakhe.
"Lo bhushi wathathwa kumfundi owayesekhathele wukuhlukunyezwa ngenxa yobuqhwaga," kuchaza okaHlabangane.
"Wabona kungcono ukuba avele ahlasele umuntu owayemhlukumeza. Ngenhlanhla loyo owayemhlukumeza wayengekho esikoleni ngalelo langa, sabamba lesi sikhali kulona ohlukunyezwayo.
"Abazali bahlale bengicela bethi, 'Ungangiqondisela le ngane ngoba mina sengehlulekile. Kuthi lapho ngikhuluma nayo ingiphendule ifune kugcine yona'"
UMtshali usola kakhulu ukutotoswa kwezingane.
"Sonke sizithanda kakhulu izingane zethu nokuyinto kuzona eyakha isithombe sokuthi zizophila ngaphandle kwezinkinga.
"Ukungabikho kwezeluleko yiyonanto edicilela phansi imindeni. Esikoleni, sitshela izingane ukuthi: 'Ungaziphatha ngale ndlela oziphethe ngayo ekhaya, hhayi lapha esikoleni.' Ziye zibuze ukuthi, 'kungani"'
"Inkolelo yami wukufundisa ngokuba nami ngibe yisibonelo," kusaqhuba yena uMantshinga.
"Ngiqala ekubukekeni kwengane, ngokuba ngikhuthaze indlela yokugqoka. Ukugcina isikhathi yinto futhi ebaluleke kakhulu.
"Ngiye ngifundise ingane ukuba ibuswe yilo mqondo: 'Lesi yisona siqalo sekusasa lami.'
"Nakuba kungahambisani nomthetho kahulumeni, ngesinye isikhathi kudingeka ngiphoqelele izinto ngesabise nangokuxosha. Izingane kufanele zifunde kabanzi ngezinto ezidala izinto ezimbi nemiphumela yazo."
Ukukhathazeka
"Kubalulekile ukuba othisha bakhombise ukukhathazeka ngabafundi babo," kusho omunye wothisha. Lokhu kusiza ngokuba nohlukunyezwayo abe nesibindi sokubika ngalokhu.
"Izingane akuvamile ukuba zize kithina zizothi ziyahlukunyezwa. Kodwa kuvame ukuba kufike abazali noma omunye umntwana azobika.
"Ngixhumana nabazali bese ngibizela ehhovisi lami lezo zingane ezithintekayo ngizichazele ukuthi kungani ukuziphatha okunjena kungadingeki. Lokhu kusebenza kahle kakhulu ezinganeni ezisemabangeni aphansi.
"Ezinganeni ezindala ngixhumana nabazali kuqala. Uma bethukuthele, ngiyabachazela ukuthi - akusilo ikhambi ukushaya lowo oqhwaga abanye, kodwa wukuxoxisana naye ukuze kutholakale inkinga.
"Uma izingane zikuGrade 6 noma 7, ngiye ngizitshele ukuba zizame ukusombulula inkinga ngaphandle kodlame.
"Ezigigabeni eziningi, isixazululo siziqhamukela ngokwaso lapho izinhlangothi zombili sezilubekile uvo lwazo.
Ungamsoli umntwana
wakho!
"Ekugcineni, uma ingane yakho ubona ukuthi iyesatshiswa noma ihlushwa yiziqhwaga, bhekana naleso simo, ungasizibi.
Izingane eziningi azivamile ukuba zikutshele njengomzali uma lezi zinto zenzeka kuzona, ngakhoke kufanele kube nguwe okusukumelayo lokhu - ngokusho kukachwepheshe wezengqondo kwezemfundo uFelicity Tonkinson.
Uma ubona ukuthi ingane yakho ingaba nokwesaba, kungcono lesi sihloko ungasiqondi ngqo kodwa usigwegwese. Buza imibuzo ngaloyo ohlupha abanye: "Obani ajwayele ukubahlupha" Uhlale ethini noma enzani""
Ungalokothi nakancane usole ingane yakho ngokuhlushwa kwayo yiziqhwaga, noma usho izinto ezifana nokuthi: "Ungabi yigwala."
Uphinde wagcizelela ukuthi, uma ingane yakho ikutshela lapho kukhona abayihluphayo, ungazitsheli ukuthi le nkinga uzoyigcina iyimfihlo ngisho ngabe ingane yakho iyesaba ukuyikhuluma.
Lokho kungafana nokunika oyihlukumezayo imvume yokuba aqhubeke.
Indlela yenqubo
"Zonke izikole kufanele zibe nomthetho ozobhekana nokuhlushwa yiziqhwaga, kanjalo nemiphumela yalokho," kusho uTonkinson.
Ukwenza isibonelo, iGlenwood Boys High School eThekwini, isibe nemiphumela emangalisayo ngalolu hlelo lwayo.
"Saqalisa lokhu ngenhloso yokukhipha lo mqondo wokuhluphana kwabafundi," kuchaza uthishanhloko uTrevor Kershaw.
"Abafundi baGrade 8 - 11 bahlangana njalo ekuqaleni kosuku ukuze badingide izindaba ezifana nokulova, ukuzinikela ezintweni ezenziwa esikoleni nokulungisa isimo sasesikoleni.
"Abafundi asebenza uGrade 11 yibo okulindeleke ukuba bakhe ubungani nabafana abancane, ukuze babe 'obhuti babo abadala'."
Isikole iGlenwood sekuphele iminyaka emine sinohlelo lokwakha ngokwezimilo.
"Lokhu sekuholele ekwehleni kwezigameko zokuhlukumezana kwabafundi nokwesabisana nokuyinto engenzeka kalula esikoleni esinabafundi babafana abangu-1 150," kusho uKershaw.
Ukulungisa isimo
Kodwake kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi noma imuphi umthetho olandelwa yisikole, ukugwema ukuhlukumezana kwabafundi kuyenzeka uma wonke umuntu esikoleni ezozibandakanya kule mizamo - kusukela ebhodini labaphathi kuya kubazali, othisha nabafundi imbala.
"Bonke kufanele babe yingxenye yokuthuthukiswa nokwenza ukuba lezi zinhlelo zisebenze," kusho uFelicity.
"Okubalulekile ekugwemeni le nkinga, wukufundisa izingane ukuba zikwazi ukukhuluma ngaphandle kokwesaba zazi ukuthi wubani ezingaya kuyena uma zifuna usizo."[z]
indaba nguVIVIAN ATTWOOD
Vikela ingane yakho eziqhwageni!
BONA ZULU - February 2008
Uthishanhloko uMtshali esikhombisa ubhushi owabanjwa komunye wabafundi owayesekhathele wukuhlukunyezwa yiziqhwaga.
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BONA ZULU - February 2008
Izingane zidinga ukuba zifunde ukuzikhulumela ngaphandle kokwesaba
Izimpawu ezingaku-xwayisa
Ngabe ingane yakho kukhona abayiqhwagayo esikoleni" Kufanele ubheke lezi zimpawu...
Ukuhlale ithi ilahlekelwe imali yase-tuck shop noma yelantshi.
Ukufika ekhaya ivuvukele, inokusikeka nokunye ukulimala.
Izingubo ezidabukile.
Ukuntshontshelwa izinto zayo.
Ukuhlale ishintshashintsha: ibe neziqubu zokukhala noma zokudinwa.
Ukuyeka ukudlala nabangani bayo bakudala.
Ukuqala ukungaqhubi kahle esikoleni.
Ukungalali kahle.
Ukungakuthandi ukudla.
Ukuhlale inokukhathazeka.
Kungani kuyisibopho sakho
UFat Charlie uthini ngeziqhwaga...
UKUBHALA ngeziqhwaga yinto uFat Charlie abone kungcono ayenze kuyo le ngosi. Kumthokozisile ukukwenza lokho kodwa futhi wabuye wacabanga ukuthi yisiphi isizathu"
Kungayinto enhle ukucabanga umuntu oyisiqhwaga efunda kabanzi ngobubi beziqhwaga ukuze mhlawumbe ashintshe izindlela zakhe.
Kodwa iziqhwaga azisebenzi ngaleyo ndlela. Lokho iyonanto ezenza zizibone 'ziyizigora'.
Kungenzeka ufunde noma ngifunde into ezosenza sicabange indlela esiziphatha ngayo, kodwa hhayi ngabantu abayiziqhwaga. Abantu abayiziqhwaga bayizilima ezingafundi lutho ngingasayibali nokuyibala eyokufunda amaphepha.
Okubaluleke kakhulu, umuntu oyisiqhwaga akakwazi ngisho ukubona ukuthi akwenzayo akukuhle.
Ngenxa yokuthi akakwazi ukuzibeka esimweni somuntu ohlukunyezwayo, akaboni ukuthi mungakanani umonakalo awenzayo kulowo muntu.
Kungani na" Iqiniso wukuthi iziqhwaga ziyiziqhwaga ngoba nazo zake zaqhwagwa ngabanye abantu.
Lonke lolo dlame balufunda lapho - nokuyilapho babona ukuthi yiyona ndlela abangaphilisana nayo nabantu, ngoba iyona ndlela abayaziyo.
Ngabe lokhu kwenza bazithethelele ngezenzo zabo" Cha, kodwa ukuba nolwazi ngalokhu kusenza sikwazi ukubhekana nalesi simo.
Ngabe uhlukunyezwa yiziqhwaga" Nakhu okufanele ukwazi: Zitshele ukuthi ayikho into umuntu onjalo angakwenza yona. Lokho kuzokunika amandla ngaphezu kwakhe.
Kunoma yini oyenzayo, ungalokothi isiqhwaga usinike indawo emqondweni wakho. Ungalokothi uchithe isikhathi sakho ucabangana nomuntu onjalo.
Okufanele ukwenze: hamba umshiye kanjalo - ngaleyo ndlela uzohlukana nawe.
Usuke ungesilo igwala uma ucela uthisha ukuba akusize lapho uhlukunyezwa yiziqhwaga.
Lokhu kufana nokuya kudokotela ngoba usugula - akusilo iphutha lakho ukuthi uyagula, kanjalo futhi akusilo iphutha lakho ukudlala iziqhwaga.
Lena yinto ecasulayo enesidina njengomiyane okudinga ukuba uyisuse. Uma uthisha A engakusizi, dlulela kuthisha uB.
Abanye abantu abadala bangaba 'budedengu' ngalolu daba lobuqhwaga - noma babe yiziqhwaga ngokwabo - ngakhoke kungadingeka ukuba ubuze abantu abangaphezu koyedwa ngaphambi kokuba uthole usizo.
Kungenzeka ungabi yisiqhwaga, kodwa uma kukhona ubuqhwaga obubonayo ujike ungenzi lutho - kubuhlungu kakhulu uma nawe uzokuba yingxenye yabo ngokuba uhleke into eyenzekayo noma ushaye sengathi awuboni ngoba ucabanga ukuthi ohlukunyezwayo yingoba mhlawumbe kukhona akwenzile.
Ngenxa yokuthi laba bantu basebenzisa udlame nezindlela zokuhlukumeza, lokhu kufana ncamashi nobugebengu obungabenza bagcine sebeyizigebengu.
Noma ngubani angahlukunyezwa yilabo abayiziqhwaga - nathi uma singabalamuleli, ubani thina oyosilamulela"
Ongakwenza!
u Khuthaza isikole sengane yakho ukuba sibe nezinhlaka zokulwa nobuqhwaga.
u Njalo qiniseka ukuthi uyazi ingane yakho iphatheke kanjani ngokuba uyikhuthaze ikhulume ngokukhululeka.
u Ungakuthathi kancane ukwesaba kwengane yakho.
u Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuba iphilisane nezinye, yakhe ubungani esisekelweni sokwethembana.
u Ungasoli ingane yakho ngokuthi yiyo evumela ukuqhwagwa abanye.
u Zifundise ukuzibamba ugweme ukuthetha uma udiniwe. Khumbula ukuthi nguwe umuntu oyisibonelo esihle enganeni yakho.
u Sebenzela ukubuyisa ukuzethemba enganeni yakho. Ingane ezethembayo, akulula ukuba ibe wukudla kweziqhwaga.
Yenza ingane yakho ibe nokuzethemba. Ingane ezethembayo akulula ukuba ihlukunyezwe yiziqhwaga.
BONA ZULU - February 2008
