zulu.308.yourstories_mother
Ngabe izingane
zami zisazongithanda?
Iningi labesimame lizithola kungekho okunye elingakwenza ngaphandle kokushiya izingane zalo nezihlobo uma liyoshada ngoba indoda ingafuni ukukhulisa izingane zenye indoda
NGESIKHATHI uMavis Sambo (37) eshada noVusi eminyakeni eyisishiyagalolunye eyedlule, wayethi uthole uthando lweqiniso - nomuntu ozoba ngubaba wezingane zakhe ezimbili azithola kwenye indoda. Kodwa ngesikhathi sezingxoxo zamalobolo kwabekwa kwacaca ukuthi izingane zakhe azidingeki emzini wakhe.
U-Mavis washaqeka: "Ngesikhathi sisathandana, uVusi wayengakhombisi ukuba nenkinga izingane zami eziphethe kahle njengezakhe."
Kodwa eselotsholwa, uVusi wathi izingane azihlale kobaba bazo noma nogogo bazo ngoba bazoba nolwazi lokuthi yini okumele bayenze uma kudingeka ukuthi izingane zenzelwe amasiko.
Ekugcineni izingane zikaMavis zasala kumama wakhe. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwakhe nezingane zakhe abuzange bube buhle.
"Sezikhulile manje kanti zike zingivakashele. Ngizibona emehlweni ukuthi zibona sengathi ngizilahlile kodwa akukho engingakwenza. Ngifisa sengathi zingasiqonda isimo engibhekene naso," kusho yena.
Iningi labesimame lithola kungekho okunye elingakwenza ngaphandle kokushiya izingane nezihlobo uma seliyoshada ngenxa yokuthi indoda isuke ingafuni ukondla izingane zenye indoda.
U-Moses Twala weKara Heritage Institute, inhlangano ebhekene nokugcinwa kwamasiko uthi akusilo usiko lwethu ukuphoqa omama ukuthi mabashiye izingane zabo uma bendela kweminye imizi.
"Njengama-Africa sikholwa wukuthi izingane ezizalwa kungashadiwe zingumthwalo womndeni kamama wazo. Kodwa uma indoda ishada nowesimame onezingane kufanele izithathe izikhulise njengezayo," kusho uMoses.
Ukholwa wukuthi indoda "elahla" izingane zomkayo ngeke ibe nomndeni othokozile.
"Uma indoda iphoqa owesimame ithi makashiye izingane azizalayo nezihlobo zakhe lokho kuzodala izinkinga emshadweni wabo."
"Uma ingane ingakhuliswanga ngumama oyizalayo ayizazi ukuthi ingubani," kusho uMfundisi uGracewell Msimango weGracewell Ministries eseVosloorus.
Omama abakhuluma noBONA basinika izizathu ezimbalwa ezaba yimbangela yokuthi bashiye izingane zabo emindenini yabo.
Abanye bathi babenovalo lokuthi izingane zabo, ikakhulu ezamantombazane, zizohlukunyezwa obaba abangazizali.
Abanye babebona ukuthi akukuhle ukukhulisa izingane endaweni ehlukile ezingayazi ongeke ube nesiqiniseko sokuthi zizoyithokozela ngoba emindenini enjalo nibuye ningazwani uma ubaba ozala ingane esayondla ingane yakhe.
U-Christina Mothlale (34) washiya ingane yakhe nomama wakhe ngesikhathi eshada nomyeni wakhe eminyakeni eyisithupha eyedlule. Indodakazi yakhe yayineminyaka engu-9 ngesikhathi eshada kanti isijwayele ikhaya elinabantu besimame kuphela.
"Ngabona sengathi ingane yami ngeke iphatheke kahle uma isihlala nomuntu wesilisa," kusho uChristina.
Indodakazi yakhe ineminyaka engu-15 manje kanti bayazwana.
NgokukaPuseletso Dlukulu ongudokotela wezengqondo ogxile ekwelulekeni imindeni nabashadile, imindeni ingavumelana ngokuthi izingane mazisale nezihlobo ukuze owesimame aqale impilo entsha ngaphandle kwezinkinga, ikakhulu uma indoda ingayingeni eyokukhulisa izingane okungezona ezayo.
Kodwa awamaningi amadoda analowo mqondo.
ULufuno Madonsela (40) uthi umyeni wakhe wayengenankinga ngendodakazi yakhe. Kodwa wathatha isinqumo sokuyishiya kubo ngoba yayizwana kakhulu nomama wakhe.
"Yimina kuphela ingane ekhaya kanti ngabona ukuthi ngeke kulunge uma ngithatha indodakazi yami ngishiye umama yedwa," kusho uLufuno.
Ukuthatha isinyathelo esinjengaleso kungalunga uma izingane zizonakekelwa ngumama wazo zithole zonke izidingo zazo.
Kodwa uPuseletso wexwayisa ngokuthi izingane ziyaludinga uthando lukamama.
Uthi izingane ezingayitholi "imfudumalo" yothando lukamama azikhuli kahle kanti zihlala zikhathazekile.
Okunye, ukuhlukaniswa nomama wakho kungaba nomthelela ongafani ezinganeni zabafana nezamantombazane.
Umfana ongakhuliswanga ngumama wakhe ngeke ababuke kahle abesimame ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukwenza isibonelo.
Amantombazane ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngeke abe nenkinga ngoba asheshe afunde ukuzimela abe nobudlelwane obuhle nabahlala nawo.
"Amantombazane azwana nomama bawo agxile kakhulu emindenini yawo kanti abafana abaphatheki kahle kodwa bayakufihla lokho," kusho uPuseletso. [z]
Indaba: Kamogelo Sebola
UPHENYO LUKA-BONA
Uma indoda ishada nowesi-mame onezi-ngane kufanele izithathe izikhulise njenge-zayo
Ngabe izingane
zami zisazongithanda?
UNGABA NGUMAMA OKAHLE!
Xhumana nazo:
Kungenzeka ukuthi awukwazi ukubona izingane zakho nsuku zonke kodwa ukuzishayela ucingo uthumele namaSMS kuqinisa amaxhama okuxhumana kwenu.
Chitha isikhathi nengane yakho:
Yiba nosuku noma okuthile ozokwenza ingane ezokulangazelela. Ungenza okuzoyijabulisa nge-birthday yayo.
Yiba yingxenye yemfundo yengane:
Ngokocwaningo lwenhlangano yeZizwe, izingane ezingahlali nabazali bazo azikhuthazeki esikoleni kanti zivame ukusiyeka isikole. Xhasa ingane yakho emsebenzini wayo wesikole wenze ibeke imigomo yekusasa layo.
Mazibe yingxenye yempilo yakho:
Khuluma nengane yakho ngempilo oyiphilayo.
Khulula umoya wazo:
Chaza ukuthi kungani ungahlali nazo wenze isiqiniseko sokuthi azikhohlwa wukuthi ziyohlala zibalulekile kuwena.
Imali:
Zixhase ngemali, uqinisekise ukuthi uyazikhokhela esikoleni.
U-Christina Mothlale washiya ingane yakhe kumama wakhe ngesikhathi eshada nomyeni wakhe.
