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UKUPHUZA komama
Ngisho noma ungaphuza nabangani noma uziphumulele emva komsebenzi, ukugwema utshwala kulesi sikhathi esiphila kusona akulula. Kodwa ngabe omama bake bacabange ukuthi ukuphuza kunamthelela muni ezinganeni zabo?
SESISIDE isikhathi utshwala buba yingxenye yezitokofela kanye nemihlangano yomasingcwabisane, asisayiphathike eyakusihlwa uma izintokazi zihlangene.
Ukuphuza akugcini lapho - sekujwayelekile ukuthi uma abesimame beziphumelele emakhaya bazishayele amawayini.
Baphuza kukhona nezingane - ngabe izingane zicabangani uma zibona omama bazo bephethe ingilazi ye-whisky? Ngabe lokho kuba namthelela muni ekuziphatheni kwazo?
Nakuba obaba bephuza phambi kwezingane zabo, ayizwakali kahle indaba yokuphuza kwabesimame ikakhulu omama.
"Lokho kudalwa wukuthi kweminye imiphakathi abesimame basathathwa njengabantu abadinga 'ukuvikelwa' noma abangenamandla okuzinakekela noma okuzithathela izinqumo," kusho uMike Nxumalo oyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.
Ngamafuphi nje, abesimame basaphathiswa okwezingane kanti uma kukhulunywa ngotshwala - kunomqondo wokuthi "buyabahlula" nokuthi kungcono bakhohlwe yibona ngokukaMike.
UThandi Mhambe uneminyaka engu-32, ushadile kanti ungumama wengane yentombazane eneminyaka emibili. Uhlala
eCape Town eParklands kanti uke azishayele ingilazi yewayini
uma ethanda.
Akumkhathazi ukuphuza phambi kwengane yakhe - kodwa ngolunye usuku wethuka kabi ebona indodakazi yakhe ithatha ingilazi yakhe ifuna ukuphuza iwayini!
Akwenza kwaba wukuyifundisa umehluko phakathi kotshwala nejusi wasebenzisa leso sifundo njengendlela yokuyiqwashisa ngengozi yokuba yisigqila sotshwala.
Isinyathelo asithatha sihambisana nemibono yochwepheshe abanjengo-Ilze van der Merwe, oyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo oseBella Vida Centre eGauteng.
Abazali baqala ukuphuza utshwala phambi kwezingane zabo kusukela utshwala baba khona, kodwa kufanele babe yisibonelo esihle ngokusho kwakhe.
"Omama kufanele batshele izingane zabo ukuthi ukuphuza iwayini akunankinga kodwa kuyinkinga ukuphuza weqise," kusho u-Ilze.
Ngokwakhe, ukuphuza utshwala phambi kwezingane akwamukelekile.
U-Mike uthi ukuphuza phambi kwengane kungaba nesifundo esihle. "Ukuphuza ingilazi eyodwa yewayini noma amabili akunankinga, kanti kungakhombisa izingane ukuthi ungakwazi ukuphuza utshwala ungadakwa," kusho yena.
Kodwa akusibo bonke omama abangakwenza lokho.
Omunye umama wasixoxela ukuthi ukuphuza kwakhe kuzithikameza kanjani izingane zakhe.
Uneminyaka engu-34 nezingane ezimbili, enye ineminyaka engu-6 kanti enye ineminyaka engu-10. Unesitolo kanti uphuzela ukuqeda ingcindezi.
Kodwa utshwala benza abe nodlame kanti uma ephuza phambi kwezingane zakhe ziyazi ukuthi kumele ziqaphele.
Okwamanje akakwazi ukwehlisa ophuzweni kanti uthi uyabona ukuthi izingane zakhe zishintshile. Ziyamesaba kanti azikhuzeki.
Ukuphuza kungaba yinkinga kakhulu ezinganeni ezincane ngoba zithembele kuwena ukuze uzivikele uziphathe kahle, ngokukaMike.
Izingane zakho zingathikamezeka nangezinye izindlela.
NgoFebruary 2008 imiphumela yocwaningo olwenziwa entsheni enabazali abaphuza badakwe yashicilelwa kwi-Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research.
Lwaveza ukuthi ukuphuza kwabo kunemithelela emibili.
Owokuqala, ingane izophuza icabange ukuthi akunankinga ukuphuza udakwe.
Owesibili, kwatholakala ukuthi intsha ayibahloniphi abazali bayo. Imbangela yalokho wukuthi abazali abaphuza kweqe abazigadi izingane zabo kodwa bakhuthalele ukuzijezisa njalo.
Abazali kumele baqaphele uma bephuza phambi kwezingane. Kodwa akungagcini lapho. Omama nobaba mabakhulume ngengozi yokuphuza weqise.
"Khumbula ukuthi ingane ayinamandla okuzilawula kanti ithembele kumzali ukuze ikhule kahle. Uma lowo mzali engawenzi umsebenzi wakhe kahle, ingane izohlupheka," kusho uKenneth Resnick oyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo oneminyaka engu-25 enza lo msebenzi.
Umlayezo ucace kahle - uma kukhulunywa ngokuphuza, imqoka eyokuziphatha kwabazali bobabili.
U-Moses Twala weKara Heritage Institute, eyenza ucwaningo ngamagugu ase-Africa, uthi makungagxilwa kakhulu ekutheni abesimame kumele baphuze yini noma cha.
"Masigxile kwelokuthi omama kumele baqinisekise ukuthi izingane zabo zikhulela endaweni ephephile ehlelekile."
Indaba nesithombe: Brenda Nkuna/West Cape News
NGOLUNYE ULWAZI: Narconon, Webpage: www.stopaddiction.co.za; helpline (izinsuku eziyisikhombisa zesonto kusukela ku-8am kuya ku- 11pm): 011-622-3998.
UPHENYO LUKA-BONA
Izi-ngane eziza-lwa omama abaphu-za kakhu-lu aziba-laleli uma bezi-khuza
AMAQINISO
Ucwaningo lukhomba ukuthi bambalwa abesimame abaphuzayo kunabesilisa - kanti abesimame abaphuzayo baphuza kancane kunabesilisa. Kodwa abesimame bangaba sengozini yokuba yizigqila zotshwala njengabesilisa.
Nakuba abesimame abasebancane (18-34) bephuza kakhulu kunabadala, izinga lokuphuza utshwala likhulu kwabaneminyaka ephakathi kuka- 35-49.
Abesimame abansundu (46%) bayakwazi ukuzithiba otshwaleni kunabesimame abamhlophe (34%). Kodwa isibalo sabamnyama nabamhlophe abaphuzayo siyafana.
Abanye abacwaningi bathi ukuphuza udakwe kungakhuphula amathuba okuba nomdlavuza wamabele - kodwa kusenolunye ucwaningo olwenziwayo mayelana nalokhu.
UCABANGANI?
Ngabe ucabanga ukuthi abesimame abaphuzayo bayisibonelo esibi? Ngabe yindlela okuphilwa ngayo manje eyenza abantu badakwe? Ngabe yini engenziwa ekwehliseni izinga lokuphuzwa kotshwala kuleli lizwe?
Sitshele ukuthi ucabangani!
Bhalela kuleli kheli: Letters To The Editor, Box 32083, Mobeni, 4060.
Odokotela bengqondo bayavumelana ngokuthi akunankinga ukuphuza ungadakwa phambi kwezingane, kodwa kumele zifundiswe ngengozi yokuphuza weqise.
