xhosa.693.lobola_2
XA
ikhazi liyi-MALI
IBONA IYAPHANDA
UZWELIBANZI DAMBA, waseKapa unama-29 eminyaka ubudala kwaye uza kutshata ngesintu kungekudala, ahlawule ilobola kusapho lakulontombi.
Kodwa ke ngaphambili ikhazi yayiba ziinkomo. UDamba yena uza kulobola ngemali eyi-R40 000 egqitywe emva kweengxoxo ebezinzima nabantu bakulontombi.
UDamba uyaphikisana nabantu abathi isithethe sokulobola siyafa kwaye akaboni kwanto imbi ngokutshintsha kwesi sithethe nexesha.
Uthi kakade bekungazulunga ukulobola ngeenkomo eziphilayo ebukhweni bakhe kuba bahlala elokishini abanandawo yakuzigcina.
"Kwixesha elizayo ilobola isenokuza iyiMercedes Benz okanye ilitye elinqabileyo," utsho uDamba.
Ngenene ke ezo ntsuku sezifikile, kuba izitovu neefriji neeTV ezinkulu sele kulotyolwa nangazo ngoku.
Kuhle ukugcina izithethe nokwamkela ukuba ziyatshintsha nexesha, nalapho isizukulwana ngesizukulwana sisongeza eyaso into amaxesha amaninzi singaqondanga. Kodwa kuthiwani xa isithethe sijikwa sibe nto yimbi - njengeKrismesi ejike yalixesha lokuchitha imali endaweni yokuba sisikhumbuzo sokuzalwa kukaYesu.
Ingaba kwenzeka loo nto ke nangelobolo" Nanjengoko sisazi, ekuqaleni injongo ngolobolo ibikukudibanisa iintsapho ezimbini. Yindlela yokuba indoda nabakowabo babonakalise umbulelo wabo kusapho lwentombi nokubonakalisa ukuba baza kuyiphatha kakuhle intombi.
Abahlabi-madlala bathi injongo yakuqala itshabalele.
"Kwakuyinto yosapho," utsho uNjingalwazi Sheila Meintjies, ongumhlohli wezifundo zepolitiki kwiYunivesithi yaseWitwatersrand ongumbhali wemibandela emalunga nesini.
Uthi xa ujonga imbali yelobolo kwakungu-ina-ethe odibanisa iintsapho ezimbini ezivumelana ngomtshato kwangaxeshanye kukhuselwa umtshakazi.
"Isivumelwano yayisesokuba usapho lomfana luza kumgcina umtshakazi ubomi bakhe bonke.
"Ukuba oku akwenzekanga, intombi iza kubuyela kowayo - kwaye iinkomo yayiyindlela yokuqinisekisa ukuba intombi leyo ayizukuphathwa kakubi."
Kodwa uMeintjies uthi, kuthe ngokuhamba kwamaxesha, yatshintsha nenjongo yekulobola.
Usapho lwakulomyeni lwayibona njengophawu lokuba usapho lakulontombi luyamhlamba umntwana walo.
"Kwajika kwangathi ngoku iyathengwa intombi," utsho. Amabhinqa athengiswa ngeenkomo nangemali ukuze asetyenziswe azale nabantwana, kwabethelelwa into yokuba umfazi sisicaka sendoda yakhe nosapho lakowayo, ingakumbi uninazala.
Noxa ehambisana nesi sithethe, uNosisi Mpolweni ongumhlohli wesiXhosa kwisebe leelwimi kwiYunivesithi yaseNtshona Koloni, unenkxalabo malunga nabantu abatsha abajongene nomceli-mngeni wokudibanisa izithethe namasiko.
Uthi "asibobuntu" ukuba amadoda abone esi sithethe njengokuthenga endaweni yokuba babone kuyindlela yokubonakalisa umbulelo kusapho lwentombi abayitshatayo.
Uthi ingxaki ngelobolo kukuba sele "ingcoliswe" kukudibanisa izithethe zasentshona nezase-Afrika into ethetha ukuthi "umtshato awunamgangatho womeleleyo."
Ebantwini abatsha akungabo bonke abahambisana nezithethe.
UNhlanhla Dlamini (25), owenza izifundo zobugqwetha eYunivesithi yaseNtshona Koloni, uthi akahambisani nelobolo kuba ifana nokubekwa kwexabiso entlokweni yebhinqa ngabakowabo.
"Andiboni kukho mfuneko yakuhlawulela uthando, kuba uthando lolwasimahla."
Uthi imali idala ubunzima.
"Umzekelo, abakulomyeni bacinga ukuba banegunya lokuxhaphaza umtshakazi, ngokwasemphefumlweni nangokumbetha, kuba becinga ukuba ngowabo ngenxa yemali abayihlawulileyo."
Kodwa into enika umdla kukuba uMpolweni uthi kukho ubungozi kulo mbono, kuba amabhinqa amnyama angafuni kulotyolwa asebungozini bokwaliwa nokuxhatshazwa ngabayeni bawo.
Oku kungabangelwa kukuba amadoda abo aza kubabona njengamakhosikazi "angaxabisekanga nangenasidima."
Kodwa sithini isibini esithandanayo xa kufunwa ikhazi abangenakufikelela kulo ngenxa yokungabi namali" Bangaphi ababalekayo bayokuziba, batshate umtshato ongasikelelekanga nentombi ingafumani nkxaso kusapho lakowabo"
Yile nto eyenza uMeintjies athi esi sithethe sijike "sabacinezela endaweni yokubakhusela abatshakazi" sabenza amaxhoba okuxhatshazwa nokuphathwa kakubi.
UMeintjies uthi umthetho olawula ezamasiko awunandlela yokukhusela amabhinqa, kodwa eMzantsi Afrika njengelizwe elikhululekileyo amalungelo abasetyhini nomakulinganwe abekiwe kumthetho-sisekelo.
IDomestic Violence Act ka-1998 nekungumthetho okhusela abantwana nabasetyhini emakhaya kwimpatho embi yasekhaya uthi le mpatho-mbi ibandakanya ukuxhatshazwa emzimbeni engqondweni ngokwasemalini nangezinto eziphathekayo. Kwaye namapolisa amelwe kukuwanceda amabhinqa ngokunyanzeliswa ngumthetho.
"Akukho polisa okanye igosa lenkundla elifanele lixelele ibhinqa elixhatshazwayo ukuba lizilungisele ingxaki yalo neqabane lalo - iyaphikisana nomthetho loo nto. Bamelwe ukuwanceda afumane amaphepha enkundla abakhusela kumaqabane abo abababethayo - nokuba ngabayeni."
Xa kunje isekho indawo yelobolo" Abaninzi bathi ewe - bathi mazibuye izithethe, ilobolo yenziwe ngendlela yakuqala.
UMulalo Nemavhandu, weJohannesburg Kara Heritage Institute ekhuthaza ukugcinwa nokuxatyiswa kwezithethe zase-Afrika, uthi esi sithethe asinanto yakwenza nemali kodwa simalunga nokomeleza ubuhlobo phakathi kweentsapho ezimbini.
Ukusitshintsha esi sithethe kuthetha ukuba abantu bakwahlukaniswa nayinto encinci ngenxa yokuba abazinikelanga emtshatweni, ngelixa kudala ukuqhawula umtshato kwakufana "nokwaphula ilitye elingangebhola ekhatywayo ngeminwe," ngelo xesha abantu babezilungisa ingxaki zabo.
Okubalulekileyo kukukhumbula ukuba ilobolo ayithengi mntu. [x]
West Cape News
Ibali: Brenda Nkuna
ITHINI IMBONO YAKHO"
Ingaba ukulobola kusenendawo kuMzantsi Afrika omtsha" Ingaba amakhazi abizwayo makhulu kakhulu okanye mancinane" Ingaba ziintoni ezenza umntu abe ngunozaku-zaku ofanelekileyo" Ingaba unamava angakanani ngemiba yelobolo"
Sibhalele usixelele imbono yakho ngalo mba welobolo. Bhalela kule dilesi: Iincwadi Eziya kuMhleli, Box 32083,
Mobeni, 4060.
Kwakuyindlela yokudibanisa iintsapho ezimbini, kodwa kule mihla ilobola ibonakala ngathi idibene nokunyoluka, kangangokuba abatshati abaninzi baqala ubomi babo obutsha bentyumpa-ntyumpeka ematyaleni. Ingaba yamkelekile loo nto" Ingaba silahlekene nenjongo yelobola" Sithe masiqwalasele lo mbandela
Andiboni
mfuneko
yaku-
hlawulela uthando, kuba lolwasi-mahla
