xhosa.680.depression
ukufa
Ukunqwenel'
BONA XHOSA October 2008
USARAH akasenguye tu lowa wawumazi. Kaloku nguye owathi gqi noKelly Khumalo emculweni ngo-2005, uhle ngaphezulu kwe-20kg kwaye ngoku ungathi libhinqa eliselula nelinesiqwana.
Wayesoloko eziqhayisa ngokwenza izinto azithandayo kodwa ngoku uzimisele ngokunceda abantu ngokubabalisela ingxaki yakhe yengulo yokudakumba nokufuna ukuzibulala.
"Ndayiqala inkampani yam yokuququzelela amatheko ndineminyaka engama-21, ndaza ndatshata xa ndinama-23. Kwiminyaka embalwa elandelayo ndavumbulula italente yokucula kaElle nekaKelly Khumalo.
"Wawungacinga ukuba ndiyifumene into endandiyifuna. Kodwa ndandifihle into eyagqibela indongamele.
"Sendizame kathathu ukuzibulala, kwaye okokugqibela bekungoMeyi walo nyaka. Ngoku ndiyaqonda ukuba oko kwabangelwa kukuba andizange ndizihoye iimfuno zam. Intlungu endandiyiva ngaphakathi ndayandisa ngokuyivisa nabantu abakufutshane nam."
Nkqu nangemini entle, wayengafane aphume ebhedini.
Wayecebe ukuthungela uKelly ilokhwe eyayiza kumenza abukwe kwi-SA Music Awards zika-2006, njengeyamaso amenzela yona kwiSAMA zika-2005.
"Kodwa ukudakumba kwandongamela kwakhona kwaza kwathi kusele iintsuku ezimbini sihambe, ndamthumelela iSMS uKelly ndimxelela ukuba andikwazanga ukumthungela into aza kuyinxiba nokuba andiyi nakwitheko lezo mbasa. Ndalal' impela-veki yonke ndingenawo nacepheni amandla - yaye ndiziva ndinetyala lokwenzela phantsi uKelly."
Ubomi bukaSarah baya bubanzima yonk' imihla, de wazibona engasenawo amandla okwenza nantoni na.
"Ndandinqwenel' ukufa, ndicinga ngokuzibulala ngeyona ndlela ingabalula."
Wasela iipilisi zobuthongo ezintandathu ngexesha iintsuku ezine. Emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa wafumana incwadi ethi Finding Your Way Through Depression ebhalwe nguPam Rosewell Moore.
"Ndayifund' izihlandlo eziliqela, ndabona liya likhula ithemba ngobomi ngaphakathi kum," utshilo.
Ukuqonda ukuba unengxaki yokudakumba kwaba linyathelo elikhulu ebomini bukaSarah kodwa oko kwakungesosiqalo okanye isiphelo seengxaki zakhe. Kaloku wayeqale ukuzam' ukuzibulala eneminyak' eli-12.
"Ndandikoyika kakhulu ukudanisa abazali bam," ukhumbula atsho.
Nguye owayevusa abasakwabo ababini abalungiselele ukusiwa esikolweni nguyise. Kodwa ngeny' intsasa abazange bavuke ngexesha.
"Ndothuswa yimoto katata. Wasingxolisela ukuba kutheni sivuke emva kwexesha yaye ndandinexhala lokuba uza kundibetha. Akazange andibethe, wasishiya.
"Ndingacinganga ndaya kwigumbi likamama lokulala ndafuna iipilisi. Ndazivalela kwigumbi lokuhlamba ndaginya iipilisi ezizele isandla.
"Ekuqaleni andizange ndivento, ndaza ndalungiselel' ukuy' esikolweni."
Esikolweni waba nesizunguzane walunywa nasisisu, waza waf' isiqaqa.
Wasiwa esibhedlele, waza wabuyela ezingqondweni emalanga ngaloo mini. "Abazali bam abazange bandibuze kwanto ngokuzama kwam ukuzibulala. Ndim endashiyeka ndimhokana nento endiyenzileyo kwaye andizange ndathetha namntu ngayo," utshilo.
UKUSUSELA eselula uSarah wayengaziboni ezenza ngokufanelekileyo izinto kwaye wayesoloko ezama ukuzibonakalisa, utsho ugqirha omncedayo, uGqr. Jason Ross othethe neBONA ngemvume kaSarah. Ukunyuka koxinzelelo kwenza ulutsha olufikisayo nolungaphantsi kwama-20 eminyaka luzive kanjalo ngokutsho kweSA Depression & Anxiety Group (SADAG), kwaye amanani okuzibulala kwabantwana abaneminyaka ephakathi kwe-10 ne-14 akhule ngokuphindiweyo kwiminyaka eli-14 edlulileyo.
Phakathi kunyaka ka-2005 umhlobo kaSarah wamxelela ukuba kungenzeka unengxaki yokudakumba.
USarah waqala ukuyiqonda ingxaki yakhe emva kokuba umyeni wakhe emthumelele i-e-mail ekhalaza ngokuba umphethe gadalala. Waqala apho ukufuna izinto zokusombulul' ingxaki yakhe - wafunda ngeendidi ezahlukeneyo zokudakumba waza ekugqibeleni ngo-Aprili ka-2006 waqala ukufumana unyango.
"Ndacinga nzulu ngengxaki yam ndaza ndaziva ndikhululekile ndakwazi ukuba iyingulo kanti ingxaki yam," utsho.
USarah uthi ukholwa kukuba ubesoloko edakumbile ubukhulu becala ebomini bakhe kodwa yena ubengayazi loo nto. Oko bekumenza azifumane ephatha abantu gadalala okanye kubenguye ovumela ukuphathwa gadalala.
"Ukungazithandi kwam bekundenza ndingabathandi abany' abantu. Ebomini bendizicingela mna!
"Nabani na obezama ukuphikisana nam ubedibana nam ndilugcwabevu ngumsindo.
"Bendibajongela phantsi abantu abakufutshane nam. Mna bendingaziboni ndibaphethe kakubi abany' abantu. Bendithuka, ndigxeka kabukhali kwaye ndingenandaba ukuba endikutshoyo kungena njani komnye umntu."
Waqala ukusebenzisa amayeza okuthomalalisa ukudakumba abalulekileyo ukuze ingqondo iqale ukusebenza kakuhle.
Kodwa iingxaki zakhe azizange ziphele. Wathabatha ikhefu lonyaka emsebenzini ukuze azame ukubuyisela ubomi bakhe esiqhelweni, kodwa waqhawuka kanye ngelo xesha umtshato wakhe.
"Ndamangaliswa kukuba umtshato wethu waba phantsi koxinzelelo olumandla ngexesha endandilindele ukuba izinto ziqale ukulunga.
"Izinto endandimenze zona umyeni wam zamenza wandicaphukela. Yajika yanguye ngoku ondiphethe gadala ngokwasemphefumlweni nasengqondweni."
Ekugqibeleni ngoMeyi walo nyaka uSarah wafumanisa ukuba umyeni wakhe ubethandana nomfundi waseyunivesithi oneminyaka eli-18.
"Oko kwandibuyisela umva kwinto ebendisithi ndigqithile kuyo ebomini bam yokufuna ukuzibulala kwakhona. Ndathi ndindedwa ekhaya ndathath' imela ndayibeka esihlahleni sam ndaza ndasela iipilisi ezili-10 zentloko," ukhumbula atsho uSarah.
NANGONA kunjalo ukuzimisela kwakhe ngokuphila kwamenza wenza iinzame zokuba ungaphumi umphefumlo wakhe ngokufowunela umhlobo, ugqirha wakhe nomfundisi wecawe yakhe ecela ukuba bazomnceda.
I-SADAG ithi i-75% yabantu abazibulalayo bayayinika imiqondiso yeenjongo zabo ebantwini bosapho okanye abahlobo. UGqr. Ross uthi yiloo nto ukulinga ukuzibulala kusisicelo sonceda - kodwa kufuneka nawe ulusabele uncedo.
Ngokutsho kweSADAG nabani na ozam' ukuzibulala ufun' uncedo lweengcali ukuze aqhubeke nobomi. Ikwathi i-20% ukuya kwi-50% yabantu abazibulalayo bakhe bazam' ukuzibulala ngaphambili.
Ugqriha wakhe, umyeni nabantu owayephangela nabo baqhekeza indlu kSarah ezivalele ngaphakathi ezama ukuzisika isihlahla bafika bambamba.
"Ukuzama ukuzibulala kukaSarah kwakubonisa ukuba ukudakumba kwasekondele. Ndikhumbula indlela endathetha qatha ngayo naye emva koko," utsho uGqr. Ross.
"Ndathi kuye, 'awuphambananga, ngoko yeka ukuzenza umntu ophambanayo.' Emva koko ndamxilonga ukuba yintoni emenza afune ukuzibulala kwakhona."
"Andibeki mntu ityala ngokuzama ukuzibulala kwam. Ndibona ingxaki yam ikukungayihoyi impilo yengqondo neyomphefumlo wam - kodwa ngoku ndiyaqonda ukuba ndandinengxaki yokudakumba. Kodwa ingulo yokudakumba ayaziwa ngabantu abaninzi, ingakumbi bona abantsundu," utshilo uSarah.
Abantu abaziyo ngengulo yokudakumba nabayinyangelwayo abathandi ukuthetha ngayo kwaye abanye beyigcina iyimfihlelo yabo.
"Ukungazi nokungathandi ukwaziwa xa unengulo yokudakumba kuyenza inwenwe njengomhlaza ebantwini abaninzi.
"Ziinkcukacha ezichanileyo nokubonwa kwale ngulo ize inyangwe okungayiphelisa." [x]
USarah Shongwe wayebonakala ephila ubomi obumnandi, etshate nendoda ayithandayo, enenkampani eyenza izigidi zeerandi ephethe iimvumi ezinjengoKelly Khumalo no-Elle. Ngoko yintoni eyayimenza azame ukuzibulala de kube kathathu? Kubhale uPatricia McCracken, kufote uAndrea Caldwell
UBOMI BENENE
USarah watyeba nge-20kg xa wayenengulo yokudakumba (ngasentla ekhohlo) kodwa ngoku unciphile njengokuba ebuyele esiqhelweni (ekhohlo) -- kodwa usaziva enetyala ngokuchaneka kuka-Elle noKelly Khumalo (ophakathi nosekunene) ngeengxaki zakhe.
IINDAWO ZONCEDO
SADAG Mental Health Line: 011-262-6396; www.anxiety.org.za
LifeLine: 011-715-2000; www.lifeline.org.za
Suicide Line: 0800-567-567
BONA XHOSA October 2008
BONA XHOSA October 2008
YINTONI UKUDAKUMBA?
I-6% yabantu - abo ke ngabantu abamalunga nezigidi ezingama-340 ehlabathini jikelele - baza kubanayo ingulo yokudakumba ebomini babo, itsho iSADAG. Phantse isibini esithathwini sabo bantu abalufuni unyango.
EMzantsi Afrika i-60% yabantu abazibulalayo sukuba benengulo yokudakumba. Ukudakumba okuyingulo akufani nje nokuziva "uphantsi" - kodwa xa uziva unjalo ixesha elingaphezulu kweeveki ezimbini kufuna ukuthabathele amanyathelo.
I-SADAG ithi yazi ukuba unengulo yokudakumba xa unezine okanye ngaphezulu zezi mpawu:
Uziva unetyala
Awuzithembanga yaye uzibona ungenakuphumelela
Uneengcingane ezingenakwenzeka ngezinto ofuna ukuziphumeza
Uziva ungazinzi - okanye udiniwe
Unengxaki yokungalali okanye ulala kakhulu
Awukwazi ukumilisel' ingqondo emsebenzini okanye ukubukel' iTV
Uneengcinga ezininzi - awukwazi ukuhlala ungacingi nto
Uthanda ukutya kakhulu - okanye awukuthandi
Usebenzisa iziyobisi okanye notywala rhoqo
Uthand' ukwenz' izinto eziyingozi
Uphelelwe ngumdla kwizinto ozithandayo yaye uthanda ukuhlala wedwa
Usoloko ucinga ngokufa - uba ufikelwa yingcingane yokuzibulala.
Rhoqo ngemizuzwana engama-40 kubakho umntu ozibulalayo ehlabathini ngokutsho kweWorld Health Organisation, kwaye kubakho umntu ozama ukuzibulala rhoqo ngemizuzwana emithathu.
