xhosa.2654.teensep
BONA XHOSA - September 2006
Sincokola noFat Charlie
WALIWE ngumntu obumthanda, ukuphoxile, intliziyo yakho ilihlwili yaye uziva udandathekile. Awusenamdla wanto ebomini. Usezintlungwini ezingathethekiyo. Singasathethi ke ngengomso, uza kuthini kule yure izayo"
Mlisela nomthinjana wakuthi okhathazekileyo kufuneka nikhumbule ukuba eli ayiloxesha lokusel' utywala okanye ukutya iziyobisi "kuba ningasakhathali!"
Ngamafuphi nje mandithi ningenzi izinto ezibubutyhakala - kuquka nokwenza into kuba uziphindisela kulowo ukwalileyo. Siza kuthetha kamva ngokuziphindisela kodwa akufuneki uzihlaze ngenxa yempindezelo.
UGqr. Phil McGraw uphawula athi: "Ukugqitha ngakowabo umntu okwalileyo, ukumtsalel' iminxeba, ukumthumelela ii-e-mail okoko kukwenza ungamlibali. Ungenzi into eza kukwenza uthi xa uyicinga emva kwexesha uzisole."
Ukulibala ngokwenzekileyo... Unqwenela ukulala iminyaka emihlanu uze uvuke sele idlulile le nto. Masibuyele enyanisweni mlisela nomthinjana. Ukuze ulibale ngento eyenzekileyo kufuneka ujonge imeko okuyo ngoku, ujong' indlela oziva ngayo ngalo mzuzu. Ngoko...
Dakumba
Kulungile ukudakumba nokudandatheka. Usengxakini kaloku.
Abahlobo bakho baza kukunik' inkxaso kodwa xa ungaxoli nabo baza kudikwa. Akutshiwo ukuba xa udakumbile kufuneka ube yinto engasakwazi nokuphil' ubomi bakho!
Zibekel' ixesha qho ngemini apho uza kuba wedwa ungaphazanyiswa mntu. Elo ke lixesha lakho lokumamel' ubuhlungu bentliziyo yakho. Malingabi ngaphaya kweyure, i-15 lemizuzu likwanele.
"Kaloku ufuna ixesha nendawo yokuhoya iimvakalelo zakho nokumelana nentliziyo yakho eyophukileyo," kutsho enye ingcali yonyango. Le yenye yeendlela zokulawula udandatheko lwakho kuba uyazikhethela ixesha lokumamel' ubuhlungu bentliziyo yakho.
Yamkel' izinto ngobunjalo bazo
Ukuze ube bhetele kufuneka uncamathele enyanisweni. Waliwe. Laa mntu akasakufuni.
Yamkele loo nto noxa nje ibuhlungu kuba xa ungayamkeli uya kusoloko ucinga ukuba "Mhlawumbi ukuba ndandenze bhetele..." Ngaloo ndlela uya kuzibona ufuna ukuxolisa, ukumbonisa imeko yakho nokumqinisekisa ukuba ungatshintsha!
Mus' ukuzichithel' ixesha. Uza kuzenza isibhanxa nto leyo iza kuyenza mandundu imeko yakho!
Xa usaliwa uye ucinge fan' ukuba nguwe unobangela nto leyo ikwenza ucinge ukuba mhlawumbi usengabuyelana naloo mntu ukwalileyo. Ayinjalo loo nto.
Yiloo nto kufuneka izinto uzamkele ngobunjalo bazo.Ungajongi izizathu ezibekwa ngulo mntu okanye ufune unobangela ofihlakeleyo kuba zizinto ezingekhoyo ezo.
Xa umntu enezinto ezingamonwabisiyo eluthandweni kufuneka athethe nawe nilungisane ukuze lomelele uthando lwenu.
Kodwa xa waliwe akukho mfuneko yakufuna ukwazi unobangela.
Buyela kubahlobo bakho
Kungenzeka ukuba ngeli xesha ubuthandana nomntu wakho ubungenalo ixesha labahlobo bakho ngoko ke lungisa loo nto ngoku.
Awudlali ngabo yaye xa ingabahlobo benene baza kuyiqonda imeko yakho.
Ungabacaphukeli kuba bonwabile eluthandweni. Abahlobo bakho bakubonisa ukuba bakho abantu abakukhathalelayo kodwa nabo kufuneka uncedisane nabo. Yonwaba nabo ungahlali udandathekile.
Zinik' ixesha
Usakhathazekile yaye awukakulungeli ukuthandana kwakhona. Ungagqibela uvis' omny' umntu ubuhlungu, hlab' ikhefu eluthandweni.
Xa waliwe yonwabela ukwenz' into oyithandayo, uzityele imali yakho wedwa!
Fuman' uluvo olutsha
Kufuneka ufuman' oluny' uluvo kuba kuza kukuthath' ixesha elide ukuze uthembe omny' umntu kanti ukuthembana kubalulekile eluthandweni.
Yazi ukuba awuphazamanga ngokumthemba umntu okwalileyo. Ukukuphoxa kwakhe akuthethi kuthi impazamo ikuwe. Xa uthemba umntu akuthethi kuthi ubuthathaka koko kuntama ukuba ukhaliphile.
Yazi ukuba kutheni
Kufuneka wazi ukuba kungani ukhathazekile. Asaliwa kuba uthando lungalunganga okanye kuba lowo osalileyo "ekhohlakele." Sikhathazwa kukungayifumani into ebesiyifuna!
Kulula ngolo hlobo mlisela nomthinjana wakuthi. Kaloku wena ubusafuna ukuthandana nalaa mntu koko yena wagqiba ekubeni akwale. Uyacaphuka ngenxa yokungayifumani into obuyifuna. Yiloo nto evis' ubuhlungu kakhulu.
Ndimthwalise ityala bethu ngokundala kwakhe" Hayi ungamthwalisi ityala koko mxolele umkhulule ngentliziyo yakho yonke. Xa engaziboni izinto ezintle kuwe akufanelanga nje kwakuba uqalise ukumlilela.
Lila xa kuthi lila kodwa uyazi into yokokuba uliliswa kukuhliswa kwesidima sakho yaye ngeny' imini izinto ziza kulunga.
Tshintsha!
Sikhe sathi ungazihoyi izizathu ezikhokelele ekubeni waliwe koko jongana nokwaliwa qha. Lo gama uzama ukuxolisa intliziyo kulungile ukuzijonga wena uze wenz' iinguqu apho zifuneka khona.
Cinga ngothando lwenu nalowo ukwalileyo. Ngaba ubunobukhwele yaye ungoneliswa nto" Kungenzeka ukuba ukutsalel' umntu umnxeba izihlandlo ezintandathu ngemini akulunganga xa ufun' uthando lwenu luqhubekele phambili.
Fund' ukuzibamba.
Ucinga ukuba kufuneka uhlise umzimba" Ungalibazisi yenz' into ibonakale. Yiya ejimini okanye uqalise ukwenza imithambo.
Le yenye yeendlela ezikuncedayo ukwazi ukulawul' udandatheko ngokukuko.
Impindezelo!
Ayikho impindezelo eyogqitha ukuziphilisa kamnandi. Indlela yokuziphindisela kumntu okwalileyo kukumbonisa ukuba uyakwazi ukuphila kamnandi ngaphandle kwakhe.
Xa udibana naye mbulise, ube nobubele uncokole naye kodwa ukhawuleze umshiye. Kuza kuba nzima kuwe ukuyenza loo nto kodwa kufuneka uziqinise yaye uza kuziva ubhetele emva koko. Xa wenze ngolo hlobo uza kube uzibonakalisile ukomelela kwakho yaye ungahlazeki.
Ungothuki xa emangaliseka, ezisola nangokukwala. Mhlawumbi angade aze kucel' uxolo.
Xa kunjalo ke mlisela nomthinjana wakuthi ungamxelela ukuba ohlukane nawe kuba ubomi bakho ubonwabela ngaphandle kwakhe. [x]
Ukumelana nokwaliwa
BONA XHOSA - September 2006
Maxa wambi kubangathi asoze uxole kodwa zikho iindlela zokumelana nokwaliwa nokuqinisekisa ukuba uyomelela yaye ufundile koko kwaliwa
Isifundo esibalulekileyo
Izinto ezingaka endimenzele zona kanti ndidlala nje ngexesha lam! Funda esi sifundo: ungenzi izinto ungacelwanga. Kaloku njengoko ungacelwanga, azibonakali nezo zinto uzenzayo nto leyo ikucaphukisayo. Ukanti zingamenza omny' umntu azive ecinezelekile.
BONA XHOSA - September 2006
Ezikuncedayo ukwazi ukulawul' udandatheko ngokukuko.
UKUTHEMBANA. Ungayeki ukuthemb' umntu ngenxa yezinto ezikuhleleyo ngaphambili! Yijonge ngolu hlobo le nto: Xa umthemb' umntu, ukuphoxa kube kanye. Kodwa xa unobukhwele, usoloko urhana ngathi ikho into ayenzayo lo omnye xa ungekho, uphoxwa umzuzu nomzuzu ke xa kunjalo, ziingcinga zakho. Kulula yaye kubhetele ukuba umthembe umntu!
