xhosa.1611.muthi
sithetha ngamayez' esintu
INDIBANO yesondo ingabangela iingxaki ezininzi emtshatweni. "Akukho ndoda ikwazi kundenza ndibe nenkanuko yendibano yesondo, nkqu nomyeni wam lo," utsho umtshakazi othile waseSiphingo onama-33 eminyaka ubudala. Ngaphambili besike sathetha ngengxaki yokungavukelwa kwamadoda - iingxaki zabasetyhini, noxa zingade "zicace" ngca nazo zingawenza umonakalo eluthandweni.
"Umtshato wam ujike waliphupha elibi," litsho eli bhinqa laseSiphingo, elinomntwana omnye nomyeni walo.
"Akuvakalelwa nto xa ndincanyiswa okanye ndidlaliswa, nokuba kwenziwa ixesha elide kangakanani na. Indibano yesondo kum ifana nqwa nokungathi kunyanzelwa eyona ntonga inkulu kwilungu lam langasese!"
Eli bhinqa like laluzama uncedo. "Sele ndiye koogqirha abaliqela, bandinika amachiza ngamachiza, aquka izikhuthazi-mvakalelo. Akude kubekho tshintsho. Andiyonwabeli indibano yesondo.
"Ndisuka ndive ubuhlungu. Kangangokuba ndisoloko ndiyifanisa nokudlwengulwa. Ingaba ndithakathiwe" Ndingalufumanaphi uncedo""
Kusenjalo owasetyhini obudala bungama-20 eminyaka waseLadysmith, uthi ezakhe iingxaki zesondo zaqala emva kokuba egrogriswe libhinqa elalithandana noyise wabantwana bakhe ababini.
"Xa silala liba buhlungu ilungu lam langasese ngathi linezilonda."
Ndisuka ndikhumbule intetho ethi - "Iyeza alimbiwa ndawonye." Ngamanye amazwi, umntu kufuneka alukhangele kwiindawo eziliqela uncedo, nokuba loo nto ithetha ukuba uza kuhamba umgama omde.
Endikutshoyo kukuba la mabhinqa kuquka namanye angabafundi ajongene nobu bunzima kukuba aye emagqirheni amathathu.
Oko kwakuwanceda afumane eyona nto ingunobangela wengxaki.
Makuthethwe phandle
Abayeni nezihlobo ezikufutshane zimelwe kukubakho xa bexilongwa.
Ngaphandle kokunika inkxaso, banganika nenkcaza ngembali yosapho enganceda kwaziwe unobangela wengxaki.
Enyanisweni, iingxaki ezilolu hlobo - njengokungabi namdla emadodeni - zifanelwe zijongwe ngabazali, baziphande ingakumbi oomama ngexesha abantwana beseziintombi ezisafikayo kwezothando.
Kubalulekile ukuba abazali nabantwana bathethe ngezempilo kuquka nezesondo, nangaphambi kokuba iintombi ziye exesheni.
Ngokwakwantu, amadoda ngawo athetha noonyana babo ngezothando nezesondo baze oomama bathethe neentombi zabo.
Kodwa ixesha elininzi ufumanisa ukuba lo mbandela unyengezwa koomama. Ngoku lixesha lokuba amadoda aphume emiqolombeni athethe noonyana neentombi zawo!
Isilumkiso
Xa sibuyela kubafundi abasibhaleleyo. Iingxaki zesondo zingasukela engqondweni - apho ke igqirha lingakwazi ukunceda.
Kodwa ezinye zingasukela emzimbeni. Okundikhathazayo ke kukuba ababini kumabhinqa esiwakhankanyileyo athetha ngeentlungu ezivakala emzimbeni.
Kufuneka afune uncedo kugqirha okanye eklinikhi.
Ewe, omnye uthe akafumananga kwaneliseka apha, kodwa ke njengoko kufuneka udibane namagqirha aliqela kananjalo nakoogqirha, phambi kokuba kufunyanwe isisombululo.
Enye into ke - ingaba uyichaze injengokuba injalo na imeko kugqirha, okanye ubeneentloni" Ingaba uyilandele kakuhle na indlela yokusela amayeza awanikiweyo, nexesha alisikelweyo"
Isilumkiso sam sesi: Ukuba unengxaki ebangelwa ziintlungu kwindibano yesondo, thetha nogqirha ngokukhawuleza. Ungathuli ngenxa yokoyika. Ukuba uya ngokukhawuleza kwagqirha, nengxaki yakho iyakusombululeka lula. [x]
Xa indibano yesondo
iyintlungu
BONA XHOSA - March 2008
nguFORCE KHASHANE
Xa unemibuzo ngamayez' esintu, bhalela kule dilesi:
Muthi Talk, Box 473014, Parklands, 2121 okanye umthumelele i-email ku- muthi@caxton.co.za
