XHOSA.244.sis sarah
buza usis sarah
N DINEMINYAKA eli-18 kwaye andizange ndathandana ngaphambili. Ngoku ndisuke ndaphandlwa yintombi eneentloni kakhulu.
Ingxaki yam kukuba andikwazi emandikuthethe xa ndizibika kuyo Ndiyayithanda. Ndicela undicebise.
nguDS, eBothaville
Yonke into inesiqalo! Kwaye akukhathaliseki nokuba ndikunika eliphi icebo, nokuba ngamacebo abahlobo bakho - okusebenzela omnye umntu kungangakulungeli wena.
Okokuqala... musa ukungxama. Sukucinga ukuba ngokuncokola nje nayo sele ikuvumile. Sukulindela nokuba iza kuvum' ukukhutshwa nguwe ngenxa yokuncokola nayo kanye!
Uthi "uyayithanda" , kodwa awukathethi nayo. Uza kuyethusa ukuba ukhe wangxama.
Okwesibini... zama ukufumanisa kangangoko ngeli nenekazi. Oku kuza kukunika iindlela zokwakha incoko kunokuthetha nalo ngezinto ezingenamdla kulo.
Incoko yokuqala akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibende. Kusafuneka nje indlela yokulingena kuqala, ubonakalise umdla - kwakuthi ke xa sele ulibona kwakhona kubelula ke ngoku ukuthetha nalo.Okwesithathu... limamele! Kubalulekile oku! Akukho nto imbi ngathi ngumntu oqala incoko nawe akugqiba athethe yedwa engaphezi, ethetha ngaye phofu.
Mnike ithuba naye ancokole.
Okokugqibela ndicebisa ukuba - uphole. Ukudyuduzela kugqiba ukuzithemba kwakho. Kwaye abasetyhini bayawathanda amadoda azithembayo!
98 BONA XHOSA - March 2008
Ukuthandana okokuqala kunzima!
EMFANEKISWENI NGABALINGANISI
Qhawul' umtshato ... okanye yifa"
Ndineminyaka engama-39 kwaye iminyaka ingama-20 nditshatile. Ndinabantwana aba-3, oneminyaka engama-20, eli-16 nesi-7. Ingxaki yam ngumyeni wam onempatho egadalala xa enxilile. Izihlobo zam kudala zizam' ukuthetha naye kodwa zitsho phantsi isitya sigcwele.
Ndicing' ukuwuqhawula umtshato, kodwa andinamali yokuhlawulela indleko zako.
Enye ingxaki ngumntwana wam uselula, kodwa ndigqibe kwelokuba ndimshiye kwindodakazi yam.
Ingaba ndiyalungisa ngokuwuqhawula umtshato, okanye kudaliwe ukuba ndihlale naye de andibulale" (Ndibona indlela enza ngayo, uza kugqibela endibulelel!)
nguMMM, eQwaQwa
Andinakuthi wuqhawule umtshato, kodwa ukuba bendinguwe mhlawumbi nakum ukuwuqhawula umtshato ibingakukuphela kwesisombululo sembandezelo endikuyo.
Kuyacaca ukuba ucinge nzulu ngale nyewe, mhlawumbi akufanelanga uwuqhawule umtshato - mandikunike izizathu ezimbalwa! Ngale ndlela "ungasivavanya" isigqibo sakho ubone ukuba ucingisise kakuhle kusini na!
Okokuqala, ama-20 eminyaka obomi lixesha elide ongenakusuka uliphose kwelokulibala. Ndiyazi umyeni wakho uyakuxhaphaza, kodwa qiniseka ukuba ngenene ukulungele oku.
Okwesibini, uke wazama na ukuba umyeni wakho aye kubacebisi ngengxaki yakhe yotywala, njengabe- Alcoholics Anonymous" Eyona nto inzima kukumbonisa ukuba unengxaki, kuba amanxila amaninzi akavumi lula. Loo nto ke ithetha ukuba, ukuba akavumi kuncedwa, akukho nto unokuyenza.
Okwesithathu, ukuba umntwana wakho umshiya nendodakazi yakho kungenzeka usapho lukujikele ungaphinde umbone. Ingaba yinto oyifunayo leyo"
Ndibuza ezi zinto kuba ndifuna ukuqonda ukuba uzicingile na, kungekuba ndifuna ungawuqhawuli umtshato. Ndifuna ukugxininisa kule nto, ekugqibeleni isigqibo sesakho.
Kodwa ke, ukuba usapho lwakho lucinga ukuba ubomi bakho busengozini, ukuzikhupha kulo mtshato kufanele kube yinto yokuqala.
Akamonelisi uninazala
Yiminyaka eli-10 ndonwabile emtshatweni - kodwa umamazala wam akayeki ukukhalaza. Akukho nto intle ndiyenzayo - ukusukela ekukhuliseni abantwana ukuya ekuphekeni, ukuhlamb' iimpahla nokucoca. Ndimbonise kanjani ukuba ndiyinkosikazi elungileyo"
nguSibongile G, eBloemfontein
Wamkelekile eklabhini! Baninzi abasetyhini abaziva njengawe - kwaye ukuba unonyana, mhlawumbi nawe uza kuba "ngumamazala owoyikwayo" kungekudala.
Oomama bazakhela "indlela yokukhusela" onyana babo. Kuze ngokuya bekhula, besiba neentombi betshata, olu khuseleko luphazamiseke.
Ubona ngathi indawo yakhe ithathwe "libhinqa limbi." Abanye oomama, njengomamazala wakho, bazixolisa ngokungcungcuthekisa oomolokazana babo.
Zama ukuthetha-thethana naye.
Mxelele ukuba uyayiqonda indlela aziva ngayo, kodwa ngoku olu lusapho nobomi bakho, kwaye wena nomyeni wakho nimelwe ukuyekwa nenze izinto ngendlela yenu.
Mqinisekise ukuba uyafunda iingcebiso (kwaye bonke oomama banazo), uza kubuza kuye.
Xa ekugxeka, zinike ixesha umxelel' ukuba kutheni usenza ngolo hlobo. Xa nikwazi ukuthetha-thethana buya kukhula ubuhlobo.
Akonwabanga emtshatweni
Ndineminyaka engama-35 kwaye umyeni wam unama-33. Ngo-2002 waba nomntwana nomhlobo wam usenyongweni. Kanti wayekade ezisa iintombi emzini wethu xa ndingekho.
Okunye, wayesazi ukuba uneHIV ixesha elide phambi kokuba andixelele. Ndaza ndafumanisa ukuba nam ndinayo iHIV.
Umyeni wam uhamba elala namanye amabhinqa ngaphandle kwekhondom, kuba esithi akafuni kufa yedwa, ufuna ukufa namabhinqa amaninzi kuba lelinye lawo elamsulelayo.
Ndiyamthanda, kodwa andiyifuni into ayenzayo. Asisahlali kunye, kodwa ndiyakhathazeka xa ndimbona namanye amabhinqa. Ndithini"
nguTLM, eHeidelberg
Umyeni wakho unenzondo ufuna "ukohlwaya" amabhinqa amaninzi. Awunakukujika okwenzeka kudala - kodwa ungazama ukumbonisa ulungiselela ixesha elizayo.
Unezizathu ezininzi ezingenza umnikel' umva umyeni wakho, kodwa kuko konke oku usamthanda kwaye awuqinisekanga ukuba uthini na. Mna ndibona ukuba umyeni wakho akanakuphinda athembeke, ngoko ke ukuzama ukugcina umtshato wenu akuzulunga.
Kodwa kule yokuba etshabalalisa impilo zabantu unganceda. Zama ukuqinisekisa ukuba uya kubacebisi nge-AIDS, ukuze afunde ukuwulawula umsindo wakhe alungiselele nobuhlobo bexesha elizayo.
Ndiyazi ukuba kuyakukhathaza ukumbona ekunye namanye amabhinqa, kodwa ingaba ubona nisenekamva nobabini" Ngenxa yezinto ozibalulileyo ngokokwam ulunge ngaphandle kwakhe. [x]
Qaphelani:
USis Sarah akakwazi ukunicebisa ngeengxaki zempilo. Xa unengxaki yempilo efun' unyango yiya kucel' uncedo eklinikhi okanye kugqirha.
Ingaba unengxaki yendibano yesondo, eyothando, okanye ngxaki yimbi ebomini" Yibhale uyithumele kum Sis Sarah, ndiza kuzama ukukucebisa indlela yokuyisombulula. Ngelishwa andinakukucebisa ngokukubhalela wena ngqo, kubhetele impendulo uyijonge kula makhasi. Khumbula, xa uyivula intliziyo yakho, ndikholo ukukunceda! Idilesi yam ithi: Sis Sarah, Box 32083, Mobeni 4060.
BONA XHOSA - March 2007 99
