xhosa.245.sis sarahmuthi
Uthando nokuthandana akuyonto ilula - kodwa ungaxhalabi, uSis Sarah ukho ukuze aphendule yonke imibuzo yakho ngethemba lokuba uza kuphilisa iintliziyo ezaphukileyo...
UMBUZO WAM umalunga nemali yesondlo. Ndineminyaka engama- 25 nditshate nendoda enama-28. Satshata umtshato wesintu ngo-Aprili 2003, ndaza ndakhulelwa kwinyanga elandelayo.
Umyeni wam ubebonakala ngathi wonwabile kwaye efuna sitshate kwamantyi. Ndiye ndathi makathenge umsesane, naye wavuma, kodwa asidange sitshate ngolu hlobo.
Emva kokuzalwa komntwana, wandixelela ukuba umsebenzi wakhe umsa kwenye indawo kwaye kuza kufuneka mna ndiye kuhlala kowabo nomamazala. Andibonanga ngxaki kuloo nto. Enyanisweni bendikuthanda ukuhlala nomamazala.
Izinto bezisoloko zihamba kakuhle zatshintsha akubuya kwinyanga elandelayo. Ubemana engenelwa yiminxeba engaqondakaliyo emenza aphume phandle xa ethetha nayo. Xa ndimbuza ngaloo nto, wathi ngabantu asebenza nabo.
Emva koko akaphindanga wabuya ekhaya. Ndazama ukumtsalela umnxeba kodwa kwaphendula ibhinqa lisithi akekho. Ndambalisela le nto umamazala, wathembisa ukuthetha naye.
Ekugqibeleni ndade ndamfumana emxebeni, ndamcela ukuba ebuncinaneni ke makathumele imali yomntwana. Waphika kwa-ukuba unomntwana esithi mandizibonele.
Ndiye ndahlala ndanyamezela okwexeshana ngenxa yokumthanda nokuhlonipha umamazala owandicela ukuba ndingahambi.
Uthe xa umntwana eneenyanga ezintandathu ndaqonda ukuba kufuneka ndifumene umsebenzi kuba ngoku bendisele ndixhomekeke ngento yonke kumamazala.
Ukubuyela kwam ekhaya, umama wacebisa ukuba ndimshiye naye umntwana ukuze kuphunguke umthwalo. Ndiye ndavuma ndaphindela emzini.
Umyeni wam uye wabuya emva konyaka. Uthe umamazala xa ezama ukuthetha naye wavutha ngumsindo.
Esithi akasandithandi, ufumene mntu wumbi.
Ndiye ndabuyela ekhaya ebazalini bam. Emva kweveki umamazala wacela ukuba ndibuye.
Wathi uthethile nonyana wakhe kwaye ucele ukuba amxolisele kum.
Ndathi makaxolise ngokwakhe. Ude wanditsalela umnxeba, ndathi kuye ndingabuya xa engeza nenkomo yokungxengxeza ebazalini bam.
Wavuma, kodwa kwaphela unyaka engaveli ndimlindile ekhaya kwaye ndingasebenzi.
Ndaya kumangala enkundleni ndifuna imali yesondlo wala ukondla umntwana wakhe esithi usazama ukuqokelela imali yelobola.
Andisamthandi, kodwa eyona nto indihluphayo ngumntwana wam kuba mna andisebenzi. Ndithini?
nguNPG, eMauear
Ndicinga ukuba unomonde emyenini wakho kwaye umnike amathuba amaninzi ukuba alungise izinto. Kodwa ke ngelishwa kubonakala ngathi akazimiselanga kuqhubeka nomtshato wenu.
Eyokuba uyihlawule ilobola ayithethi nto. Umelwe kukondla umntwana, kwaye yimfanelo esemthethweni.
Kuba umnyeni wakho engumfo owandileyo ngomlomo, kodwa ngezenzo engaphumi nanto, ndicinga ukuba kuza kufuneka ucele iingcebiso zomthetho malunga nemali yesondlo somntwana wakho.
Igqwetha alizukumvumela enze noba yintoni - kwaye loo nto iya kukunceda ungajongani naye ngokwakho. Iinkonzo zomthetho zakwaScorpion zinika imizuzu engama-30 yasimahla yokuthetha negqwetha kubo bonke abafundi beBONA.
Kungenjalo buyela enkundleni uvule ityala lesondlo, uchaze imeko yakho uze ucele iingcebiso zabo.
Iminyaka embalwa edlulileyo ibingekho lula kuwe kodwa ubonakala unawo amandla okuphinda uzakhele ubomi obutsha nomntwana wakho.
Masithembe ukuba xa sele isombululiwe le ngxaki yemali yesondlo, uza kukwazi ukuzifumanela umsebenzi ulungise ubomi bakho.
Akandithembi
Ndingumhlolokazi onama- 29 ubudala onomntwana one-12 leminyaka. Umyeni wam wasweleka ngo-2002 kwaye ndisahlala nabantu basemzini wam. Ngoku ndinenye indoda, endiyithandayo.
Kodwa noxa ifuna nje ukunditshata ayindithembi ikrokrela ukuba ikho indoda endithandana nayo eyenye.
Kwakhona malunga nabantu basemzini. Kuza kwenzeka ntoni kwintombi yam xa ndihamba? Ndibhidekile. Ndicela iingcebiso.
nguNL, eMafeteng
Ziliqela izinto ezikuxhalabisayo, ngoko ke masizijonge nganye.
Okokuqala, le ndoda intsha izimisele ukukutshata, kutheni ke ngoku ingakuthembi nje?
Fumanisa intsusa yesi sikrokro.
Okwesibini, mithandathu iminyaka umyeni wakho waswelekayo.
Ubenethamsanqa lokuba ukwazi ukuhlala nabantu basemzini ixesha elide kangaka, kodwa bamelwe kukuqonda ukuba ngenye imini uza kudibana nomnye umntu oza kufuna ukukutshata.
Sekulithuba noko umyeni wakho elandulele eli ngoko uhloniphe ngokwaneleyo.
Kanti ke ngokutshata akuthethi kuba ubanikela umva abantu basemzini wakho. Wena nentombi yakho qhubekani nokubathanda - kaloku bakuhlala bengabazali emntwaneni wakho.
Ndiqinisekile ukuba xa uhlala phantsi uthethe ngale nto nabantu basemzini wakho niya kuza necebo.
Malunga nentombi yakho. Akukho sizathu esingabangela ukuba ungahlali nentombi yakho nomyeni wakho omtsha. Ufanele ahlale nonina, kodwa ndiyaqonda ukuba abantu basemzini wakho baza kufuna ukumbona - ungaze ulibale ukuba intombi yakho yintombi yonyana wabo, kwaye nanjengoko unyana wabo engasekho, intombi yakho yintandane kubo.
Nawe kude kwangoku unobudlelwane obumnandi nobunoxolo nabo, ndiqinisekile ke ukuba uya kuthatha isigqibo esakugcina olo xolo. Bunqabile ubudlelwane obunje nabantu basemzini.
Amadodakazi aphazamisayo
Ndinama-24 eminyaka nditshate nomntu endimthandayo, kodwa akangoyise womntwana wam. Umyeni wam akanangxaki nomntwana wam, kodwa oodadewabo banengxaki.
Bayamcaphukela umntwana wam ngaphandle kwesizathu esiphathekayo.
Ngoku asisathethisani kwaye abafuni mna nomyeni wam sihlale sobabini. Bade boxutha nekhadi lakhe lebhanki.
Ndibhidekile ngoku. Andazi nokuba mandiwuyeke na lo mtshato. Ukusukela ngoDesemba ndihlala nabazali bam. Ndicela uncedo!
nguNCM, eStutterheim
Lixesha lokuba umyeni wakho angenelele ngoku asombulule le ngxaki ukuyo. Ingaba uyazi khona ukuba kwenzeka ntoni?
Ukutshatile wamamkela umntwana wakho. Amadodakazi akho akangeni ndawo kule nto, kutheni ke ngoku ezifaka nje esenza nzima ubomi bakho?
Mna andinakuyeka umtshato wam ngenxa yabantu basemzini abaphazamisayo! Kufuneka ukhawuleze uthethe nomyeni wakho.
Kufuneka uthethe ngalo mbandela kukho wena, umyeni namadodakazi ukuze kungabikho ukubhidana kweentetho. Kodwa ke kukuwe.
Xa ucinga ukuba akunako ukwenzeka oku, thetha nomyeni wakho nokuba uyedwa. [x]
BONA XHOSA October 2008
BUZ' USIS SARAH
Ndithini ukuze
ondle umntwana wakhe?
POSED BY MODELS
Ingaba unengxaki yendibano yesondo, eyothando, ookanye ngxaki yimbi ebomini? Yibhale uyithumele kum Sis Sarah, ndiza kuzama ukukucebisa indlela yokuyisombulula. Khumbula, xa uyivula intliziyo yakho, ndikholo ukukunceda!
Thumela kule dilesi: Ask Sis Sarah, Box 32083, Mobeni, 4060.
Qaphela: USis Sarah akakwazi ukucebisa ngeengxaki zempilo.
86 BONA XHOSA October 2008
OoThikoloshe
Amajoni amatsha alwa nolwaphulo-mthetho kweli?
LE bendiyizibula nam! Incwadi esuka kumlimi waseMpungamhlophe, ngaseMelmoth, eKZN, "eyalela" uthikoloshe - kodwa engamthumi okubi!
Uthe ufuna "umfana omncinane" oza kukhusela imfuyo yakhe!
Uthikoloshe lo odume kakubi abengumkhuseli?
Esi silwanyana sityholwa ngokuhlalisa kakubi iintsapho, sichithe ubuhlobo namashishini, sisetyenziselwe ukulwa ububi?
Uthi lo mlimi uthikoloshe angenza umsebenzi obhetele kunalowo wamapolisa noonogada.
Kakade ke ungoyena mntu uzaziyo izenzo ezingendawo...
Kwaye kukh' intetho yesiLungu ethi: "thum' isela xa ufun' ukubamb' elinye."
Kodwa ke inika umdla indlela atsho ngayo lo mfundi yokuthi "umfana omncinane."
Ukuba ucinga ukuba kuyinto entle ukuzifumanela esi sidalwa, kutheni esoyika ukusebenzisa igama elithi "thikoloshe," ekhetha ukulihlonipha athi "umfana omncinane"?
Bagxothe
Phambi kokuba ndifumane esi sicelo singaqhelekanga, ndiye ndafumana incwadi echaseneyo naso endibuza ukuba ugxothwa njani na uthikoloshe.
Kukho umfundi waseBloemfontein othi le ndoda imfutshane ibaphek' ibophula ekhayeni lakhe.
Kanti ibhinqa lasePitoli, lithi sele kuyiminyaka emithathu lingenaqabane, ngenxa kathikoloshe ogxotha kwandoda ezama ukuzisondeza kuye.
Kukho nenenekazi laseThembisa elithi linyanzeleka lihlale lizikhanyisile izibane zendlu yalo ebusuku mihla le kwaye sele imihlanu ngoku iminyaka.
"Ingathi ikho into engena endlwini yam rhoqo ebusuku. Noxa ndingaboni nto, ndiyaziva izingqi zomntu engena kumnyango wangaphambili otshixiweyo.
"Maxa wambi iyandiphazamisa le nto xa ndilele ngokukrwela phantsi komqamelo wam.
"Akukho nomnye kumagqirha endikhe ndaya kuwo okwazileyo ukuyigxotha le nto," utsho.
Kodwa masikhe sibuyele kumlimi waseMelmoth, omfunayo yena uthikoloshe ebomini bakhe...
Ingaba kungenzeka ?
Umbuzo ke ngulo: ingaba kungenzeka ukuba uthikoloshe, osetyenziswa ngamagqwirha ukutshabalalisa ubomi babantu, abe ngumkhuseli?
Athini amanye amagqirha asebenza ngamayeza ngale nto?
"Andizange ndeva uthikoloshe engunogada," litsho elinye igqirha ekusele kuyiminyaka engama-20 linyanga ngamayeza esintu.
"Phofu ke ndiyaqonda ukuba kungafuneka kwenziwe esinye isidalwa kuba awunakutshintsha into ekudala isetyenziselwa ububi ukuba ibe yingelosi engcwele."
"Ukwenza uthikoloshe yimfihlo nesenzo esinzima," litshilo elinye igqirha endithethe nalo.
"Bambalwa abantu abasebenza ngamayeza kweli abasayaziyo indlela yokwenza uthikoloshe - kwaye kunzima ukubafumana, kuba aba ngabenzi bobubi abazifihlileyo.
"Yiyo lo nto ndithandabuza ukuba banganako ukwenza uthikoloshe olungileyo," utshilo.
Uphinde wandikhumbuza ukuba maninzi amagqirha namaxhwele phandl' apha akwaziyo ukutshabalalisa oothikoloshe
enze neendlela zokukhusela abantu ekuhlaleni.
Nokuba kunjalo kodwa mhlawumbi umlimi waseMelmoth uvule iingcango zokuba kuqale uphando lokufumanisa ukuba ikho na indlela yokwenza oothikoloshe "abalungileyo," abangakwazi ukunqanda abaphangi nabaqhushumbisi bee- ATM umzekelo...
Mhlawumbi uMphathiswa wezoKhuseleko, uCharles Nqakula kuza kufuneka acingisise malunga nokuthetha namagqirha ngokusebenzisa oothikoloshe ukulwa nolwaphulo-mthetho... [x]
SITHETHA NGAMAYEZ' ESINTU
SITHETHA NGAMAYEZ' ESINTU
Bhalela uForce kule dilesi: Muthi Talk,
Box 473014, Parklands, 2121,
e-mail: muthi@caxton.co.za
AMAKHOBOKA ANGABONAKALIYO
OKUNOMDLA kukuba kukho abathi oothikoloshe babesetyenziswa emigodini yegolide, besebenza nzima ngelixa abasebenzi bezula bengenzi nto. Kuba ayengabonakalo la "madoda mafutshane" abaphathi babengaqapheli nto.
Kanti babesetyenziswa nasezifama, ubukho babo babuyimfihlo eyayikhuselwa kuba kwindawo nganye wayekho umntu okwaziyo ukubenza oothikoloshe.
