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XA OOMAMA besela
Nokuba kusethekweni lasekuhlaleni okanye emva komsebenzi, ukuzama ukuphepha utywala kobu bomi bale mihla buxakekileyo kunzima. Kodwa ingaba abazalikazi bayakucinga okwenzeka ebantwaneni babo xa besela?
SEKULITHUBA elide ngoku utywala buyinxalenye yeziselo ezisetyenziswayo xa kukho iindibano zestokfela noomasingcwabane, neendibano zamanenekazi.
Kwaye oko kusela akupheleli apho - sele kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba amabhinqa aphumle emakhayeni awo nebhotile yewayini emva kosuku olude.
Amaxesha amaninzi abantwnana babakhona - bacinga ntoni ke xa bebona umama babo bephethe iglasi yewiski? Ingaba ayiyichaphazeli indlela abaziphatha ngayo bona?
Noxa amadoda esela phambi kwabo abantwana, akukaqheleki ukusela kwamabhinqa, ingakumi anabantwana. Oku kubangelwa kukuba ezinye indawo zethu zithatha amabhinqa njengabantu ekufuneka 'bekhuselwe' okanye ekungalindelekanga ukuba bakwazi ukuzikhathalela okanye bazenzele izigqibo," itsho ingcali yezengqondo uMike Nxumalo.
Xa siyibeka ngokucacileyo, amabhinqa afaniswa nabantwana kwaye, utywala - kubonwa bengenakho "ukumelana" nabo ngoko kubhetele bangaqali kwa ukubufaka, utsho uMike.
UThandi Mhambe unama-32, utshatile kwaye unomntwana oneminyaka emibini oyintombazana. Uhlala kwindawo yeengcungcu iParklands eKapa kwaye uyayisela iwayini ngamaxesha athile.
Naye akaboni nto imbi xa eselela phambi komntwana wakhe - kodwa wothuke waphants' ukufa kutshanje ebona intombi yakhe izama ukusela eglasini yakhe yewayini!
Emva koko uThandi wafundisa intombi yakhe umehluko phakathi kotywala nejusi usebenzise esi sifundo ukubethelela engqondweni yakhe ulwazi lokuba utywala buyingozi xa buselwa ngokugqithisileyo.
Indlela enza ngayo ifana neka-Ilze van der Merwe, ingcali kwezengqondo eBella Vida Centre eGauteng.
Abazali kudala babusela utywala phambi kwabantwana babo ukusukela busafika, kodwa abazali kufuneka babe ngumzekelo, utsho.
"Oomama kufuneka baxelele abantwana ukuba ingxaki akuyowayini, kodwa kokungenziwa yiwayini xa uyisela kakhulu," utsho u-Ilze.
Kodwa ukunxila phambi kwabantwna akulunganga, wongeze watsho. UMike naye uyangqina ngelithi ukusela ungegqithisi phambi kwabantwana ngumzekelo omhle ebantwaneni. "Ukusela iglasi yewayini enye okanye ezimbini akunabungozi, kwaye kungabonisa abantwana ukuba unakho ukusela utywala ngendlela endaweni yokuba linxila elingalawulekiyo," utsho.
Omnye umzalikazi usixelela ukuba kubachaphazela njani abantwana bakhe xa enxilela phambi kwabo.
Uneminyaka engama-34, unabantwana ababini, oneminyaka emi-6 noneli-10, unevenkile kwaye uselela ukwehlisa uxinzelelo lwengqondo.
Kodwa utywala bumenza abe bukhali kangangokuba abantwana sele bemazi.
Ngoku uzama ukwehlisa isikali, kuba uthi ubon' indlela abantwana bakhe abatshintshe ngayo. Bangamaphakuphaku kwaye bayangxola abalawuleki.
Ukusela kwakho kuyaboyikisa abantwana abancinci, abathembe wena ukuba ubakhusele, utsho uMike oyingcali kwezengqondo.
Umntwana wakho anga-chaphazeleka nangezinye iindlela.
NgoFebruwari ka-2008 iziphumo zophando olwenziwayo ngolutsha olunabazali abafika ngamandla etywaleni ezakhutshwa kwi-Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research. Zazibonisa ukuba abantwana bachaphazeleka ngendlela ezimbini.
Okokuqala, umntwana usuke alandele ekhondweni lomzali kuba ecinga ukuba yinto elungileyo.
Okwesibini, kwafunyaniswa ukuba bagqibela ngokunga-bahloniphi abazali babo. Kaloku abazali abanxilayo ababahoyi abantwana babo, into abayenzayo nje kukubohlwaya rhoqo.
Abazali bobabini mabazigade xa besela phambi kwabantwana. Oomama nootata kufuneka bathethe ngokubi okungenzexa xa umntu esebenzisa utywala kakubi.
"Khumbula umntwana akazikhulisi ngokwakhe uxhomekeke emzalini. Ukuba umzali akawenzi kakuhle lo msebenzi, umntwana uza kungcungcutheka," utshilo oyingcali yezengqondo kwicala lezemfundo uKenneth Resnick, osele eneminyaka engama-25 esenza lo msebenzi.
Kucacile ukuba ibalulekile indlela abaziphatha ngayo bobabini abazali xa besele.
UMoses Twala weKara Heritage Institute, ekuliziko eliphanda ngenkcubeko yase-Afrika, uthi makungajongwa kuphela ekubeni amabhinqa kufanele asele okanye angaseli. Uthi kule mihla yempucuko nexakekileyo ukusela utywala akuyiyo eyona ngxaki.
"Thina sifanele siqwalasele uxanduva oomama abanalo lokunika indawo ekhuselekileyo nesempilweni abantwana babo."
Umbhali nomfoti: Brenda Nkuna/West Cape News
OLUNYE ULWAZI: Narconon, Webpage: www.stopaddiction.co.za; xa ufuna uncedo tsalela ku (iintsuku ezisi-7 ngeveki 8am - 11pm): 011-622-3998.
BONA XHOSA March 2009
IBONA IYAPHANDA
Oo-mama abasela ngoku- gqithi-sileyo baza ku-fuma-nisa ukuba aba-ntwana babo aba-lawu-
eki
BONA XHOSA March 2009
AMANYE AMANQAKU
Uphando lubonisa ukuba ambalwa amabhinqa aselayo kunamadoda - kwaye amabhinqa aselayo asela kancinci kunamadoda. Kodwa ke amabhinqa nawo anakho ukuzibona sele eziingedle zotywala njengamadoda.
Ngelixa amabhinqa aselula (18-34) enokusela kakhulu kunoodadewabo abadala, amabhinqa asele eqinile ngawona angaziingedle (35-49).
Amabhinqa amnyama (46%) ngawona anako ukungabuseli konke konke utywala kunamabhinqa amhlophe (34%). Kodwa inani lamabhinqa amnyama namhlophe asela kakhulu liyalingana.
Abanye abaphandi bathi ukusela kakhulu kungakubeka emngciphekweni wokuhlaselwa ngumhlaza webele - kodwa lusaqhubeka uphando ngale nyewe.
UCINGA NTONI?
Ingaba ucinga ukuba amabhinqa aselayo angumzekelelo ombi? Ingaba "le mihla yempucuko" ibangela ukuba abantu basebenzise utywala kakubi? Singenza ntoni ukuzama ukunciphisa ukuselwa kotywala kweli lizwe?
Sixelele okucingayo!
Sibhalele kule dilesi: Letters To The Editor, Box 32083, Mobeni, 4060.
Iingcali zengqondo zibonakala ngathi ziyavumelana ukuba, ukusela ngokunga-gqithisanga phambi kwabantwana akuyongxaki, kodwa abantwana kufuneka bafundiswe ngobungozi bokusebenzisa utywala kakubi.
