xhosa.1736.parenting
BONA XHOSA June 2008
UMZALI OFANELEKILEYO
UKUKHULELWA kungamenza owasetyhini akhazimle kukonwaba nokuba sempilweni. Kodwa kwangaxeshanye yinto eqhelekileyo ukuxhalaba ngeendawo ongaziva mnandi emzimbeni wakho kwezo nyanga zilithoba. Kumaxesha amaninzi kuyaxolisa ukwazi ukuba eziny' iingxaki - noxa zingakuthukuthezela - zeziqhelekileyo.
Zazi iingxaki eziqhelekileyo, kwaye ungathandabuzi ukuthetha nogqirha wakho ngazo xa zikuxhalabisa...
Ukurhawuzelelwa
Amabhinqa amaninzi ayarhawuzelelwa, ingakumbi kulusu lwesisu esinwebekileyo. Le nto iqhelekile. Oku kurhawuzelelwa kubangelwa kukoma okungaqhelekanga kulusu lwakho.
Zama ukuthambisa isifumisi esiphakathi okanye ilowushini, uzame nokukhetha eyenziwe ngezithako zemvelo.
Tshintsha isepha yakho ibe yengabukhalanga ungayisebenzisi ityuwa yokuhlamba, nezinto ezibufana nayo.
Ungaziva ubhetelana nangokunxiba iimpahla ezingakubambiyo uzame nokungabishushu kakhulu.
Xa urhawuzelelwa kakhulu de kuphele iiveki ezili-10 ngexa ukhulelwe, kwaye urhawuzelelwa ziintende zezandla nomphantsi wonyawo, kungenzeka kukho undonakele ngoko zama ukubonana nogqirha.
Ukudinwa
Abanye abantu bayatyhafa bangabi namandla xa bekhulelwe. Kanti ke kwabanye kuba lithutyana. Ukutyhafa akuthethi ukuba kukho into engalunganga - kodwa ukuba uziva utyhafe kakhulu, mxelele ugqirha.
Intloko ebuhlungu
Kubantu abathandwa yintloko ebuhlungu ixesha lokukhulelwa lixesha elimnandi kubo kuba ayancipha amathuba okuphathwa yintloko! Kodwa ke kwabanye ukuba nentloko ebuhlungu kuya ngokuqina, kanti ke amanye amabhinqa aqalwa yintloko ebuhlungu okugqithisileyo.
Ukuba unentloko engapheliyo kwaye ikuqale kwisiqingatha sesibini sokukhulelwa, kungenzeka ukuba luxinzelelo lwegazi oluphezulu. Ukuba intloko yakho ikhatshwa kukungaboni kunye/okanye nokudumba, bonana nogqirha ngokukhawuleza.
Ukudumba
Ukudumba okuncinci emaqatheni, ezinyaweni naseminweni yinto eqhelekileyo xa ukhulelwe, ingakumbi kwimo-zulu etshisayo nasemva kwemini ende. Ukudumba kwenziwa ngamanzi amaninzi emzimbeni, ngenxa yegazi eliveliswa ngumzimba elongezelelweyo ukuze londle umntwana.
Phumza iingalo nemilenze kangangoko unako. Ukuba uxinzelelo lwegazi lukwindawo engenabungozi kwaye nomchamo wakho awunaprotini akukho sizathu sakuxhalaba. Kodwa luvavanye rhoqo uxinzelelo lwegazi lakho kuba xa udumbe kakhulu ikho ingxaki.
Isicaphu-caphu
Ukunqumka kukugula okuqhelekileyo xa ukhulelwe, ingakumbi kwiinyanga ezintathu zokuqala, kuze kuthi emva kweenyanga ezi-3 ukuya kwezine kuphele. Ngamanye amaxesha ugula lonke ixesha lakho lokukhulelwa, kodwa ukuba awunciphi emzimbeni kwaye nempilo yakho ngokubanzi ayichaphazeleki, akuzumchaphazela umntwana.
Ukopha kwilungu langasese
Ukopha xa ukhulelwe kumele kukwenze uxhalabe, kodwa kwiinyanga zokuqala ezintathu amathontsi egazi yinto eqhelekileyo, kwaye ke kunganjalo xa unezifo zangaphantsi njengokudunjelwa ngumlomo wesizalo okanye icervical polyp.
Kodwa ke, ukopha ngamandla kwiinyanga zokuqala ukhulelwe kungathetha ukuba uphuncukelwa sisisu okanye umntwana ukhulela ngaphandle kwesibeleko.
Ukopha emva kweveki yama-28 kumelwe ukunikw' ingqalelo nako kuba kungenzeka ukuba luphawu lokusikwa phambi kwexesha, luphawu olubonisa ukuba iplasenta iphumile esibelekweni, okanye yehlele ezantsi.
Ukuze uhlale ukhuselekile, ukopha ukhulelwe nakweliphi na ixesha kuxelele ugqirha.
Isitshisa/nokungetyisi
Isitshisa kukutshisa okubuhlungu esifubeni emva kwethambo lesifuba nokuquka nokubhodla. Amabhinqa akhulelweyo abanesitshisa ngenxa yesibeleko esityhalela phezulu, nangenxa yokuba umntu okhulelweyo aketyisi kakuhle.
Musa ukutya ukutya okuqhotsiweyo nokunamafutha, nako nokuphi na ukutya okungangunobangela wokungetyisi kakuhle.
Eyona ndlela ilungileyo kukutya kancinci ngexesha, utye ngokucotha kwaye ukuhlafunisise.
Musa ukutya ebusuku kakhulu, kodwa ukusela ubisi kunganceda.
Umqolo obuhlungu
Yinto eqheleke kakhulu le kwaye yenziwa kukutshintsha kokumila kwakho ngokuya isisu sikhula. Xa ukhulelwe imisipha yakho iyathamba, ngoko ke izihlunu zakho zizo ikakhulu ezincedisa umzimba ukuba ungqale.
Xa uphakamisa izinto, zama ukugoba amadolo endaweni yomqolo.
Kwakhona, phumla... xa umile ungqale!
Isiyezi
Xa ukhulelwe igazi eliya entloko liyancipha. Xa uvuka ebhedini okanye uphakama ngokukhawuleza, usenokuziva unesiyezi. Kutshintshe kuhle ukuhlala kwaye uzame ukungahlambi ngamanzi ashushu kakhulu.
Xa kungalaleki
Amabhinqa amaninzi akhulelweyo akufumana kunzima ukulala ubuthongo obumnandi. Yinto eqhelekileyo le ngoko ingakuxhalabisi. Eneneni ke ngokuya usiba nexhala uya ngokuyandisa le ngxaki.
Zama iindlela ezithile zokuphumza umzimba phambi kokuya kulala, funda incwadi, sela isiselo osithandayo esishushu, okubalulekileyo kukuba ukhululeke.
Zama ukongeza imiqamelo ukuze ukhululeke - ulale ngecala, beka omnye emva kwakho, omnye ube phakathi kwemilenze.
Amaphupha amabi nawo aqhelekile xa sewunethuba ukhulelwe ngenxa yenkxalabo nombilini wendalo.
Khululeka... akukho sizathu sakuxhalaba
Isicaphu-caphu, ukudinwa, ukurhawuzelelwa nezinye iingxaki zokukhulelwa eziqhelekileyo...
Nceda! Umqolo wam
UBUHLUNGU!
BONA XHOSA June 2008
Amacebo akunceda xa usikwa
Ukumamela umculo opholileyo kuza kukunceda ukhululeke, uke uphazamiseke nasezintlungwini.
Xa usaqala ukusikwa yitya ukutya okunezakha-mzimba ukuze unike umzimba wakho amandla. Zama ukutya okunika amandla njengesonka nephasta, okanye iziqhamo ezineswekile eninzi, njengomdiliya.
Cela umyeni wakho akuphulule esinqeni nge-oyile yokuphulula okanye eyabantwana. Ukuphululwa kwenza umzimba wakho ukhululeke - nto leyo eyenza wena wonwabe uze ukhululeke, ngethemba lokuba neentlungu ziya kudamba.
BONA XHOSA June 2008
UMZALI OFANELEKILEYO
EZABANTWANA
QNdiyaqala ukuba nomntwana kwaye andiqinisekanga ngeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokumlalisa. Bonke abahlobo bam bathetha izinto ezahlukileyo, kwaye ezinye zazo ziyaphikisana nezinto mna endizenzayo. Ndicela undicebise.
Emva kokumtyisa umntwana, mnike ixesha elaneleyo lokuba abhodle. Tshintsha ilweyile lakhe ukuze ungamphazamisi xa elele.
Kwiiveki zokuqala abantwana bayakuthanda ukusongwa ngengubo. Yihlohle ingubo phantsi kwakhe ukuze angazombuli.
Qiniseka ukuba ubushushu bendlu akuyo abubi ngaphantsi kwe-20°C, kuba ingqele yenza angalali.
Abazali abaninzi babona kuyeyona ndlela ilula ukulalisa umntwana kunye nabo.
Ukuba unakho, qiniseka ukuba umntwana unendawo alala kuyo emini neyasebusuku. Umzekelo, ebusuku, mbeke ekhothini yakhe uvale iikhethini egumbini lakhe. Ukuba uneprem, angalala kuyo emini.
OKWAKHO KWASIMAHLA
Siphisa ngeekopi ezingama- 40 zencwadi ethi Perfect Steps ebhalwe nguSister Lyn Wade, exabisa i-R96 inye. Le ncwadana ibhalelwe ngokukodwa oomama nootata isisikhokelo esihle, ithetha ngazo zonke izinto ezibalulekileyo kunyaka wokuqala womntwana wakho - ukusukela ekuncanciseni, ugomo nokuqalisa ukumnika ukutya okuqinileyo, amanqanaba okukhula, iinombolo zeminxeba yongxamiseko nokungaphezulu.
Ukuze ube sethubeni lokuzifumanela eyakho, thumela igama lakho, idilesi nenombolo yomnxeba ofumaneka kuwo emini kule dilesi: BONA/Perfect Steps Giveaway, Box 32067, Mobeni, 4060, okanye iSMS ethi PARENTING ku-35919. (I-SMS ixabisa i-R3.) Umhla wokuvala 30 Juni 2008.
Mfundise ukuzikhusela
A BANTWANA abaninzi baqalisa ukuthatha amanyathelo abo okuqala okuzimela ngaphandle kwekhaya xa beneminyaka emithathu.
Xa ungumzali usoloko unexhala lokuba umntwana wakho uzakukwazi na ukuhlalelana nabanye abantwana kungenjalo abantu abadala, ekuhlaleni nasesikolweni.
Kwakhona usoloko unexhala lokuba umntwana wakho angabiwa.
Unako ukumkhusela noxa kungaphelelanga, ngokuthetha naye malunga nobungozi angadibana nabo. Kodwa musa ukumothusa ngokuthi yonke into ephandl' apha ifuna ukumenzakalisa okanye ifuna "ukumthatha imke naye."
Endaweni yoko, mcacisele ukuba abanye abantu bangafuna ukumenzakalisa, ngoko kubalulekile ukuba akuxelele ukuba uyaphi xa ehamba, okona kubalulekileyo, angenzi into emoyikisayo.
Imithetho ongaqala ngayo:
Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba akuxelele yonke into emenze wangonwabi. Nokuba angabinazimfihlelo.
Mcacisele ukuba angasondeli kubantu angabaziyo abeza kuye. Ukuba kwenzekile azibone sele ekuloo meko, makakhale akhwaze ukuze abantu beve.
Mchazele ukuba abanye abantu bangamnyoba xa befuna ukuhamba naye. Nokuba uyirhalela kangakanani into ayinikwayo (amaxesha amaninzi zizinto ezinomdla ebantwaneni), kufuneka azibambe.
Mchazele ukuba kukho ukubanjwa okumenza onwabe - njengokuwolwa xa enze into entle - nokubanjwa "okubi" angazukuthanda. Kubalulekile ukuba awazi umehluko ukuze akwazi ukuthi "hayi" ukuba akumonwabisi.
Ukuze umntwana wakho abone dlalani umdlalo othi "ungathini ukuba." Umzekelo, mbuze ukuba angathini ukuba indoda angayaziyo impha iiswiti ize ithi ahambe nayo? Okanye ithi izakumbonisa umbudlwana? (Yithi hayi, wakugqiba ubaleke ugoduke ufike uxele uMama noTata).
Okanye kukho usisi othi makakhwele emotweni ayokumbonisa apho iivenkile zikhoyo? (Yithi hayi, awuzazi ziphi, wakugqiba ugoduke ufike uxelele uMama noTata).
UMZALI OFANELEKILEYO
Iimpawu zokuqala ezixelayo
XA UKHULELWE
AMABHINQA amaninzi aqaphel' ukuba akhulelwe xa kuphela inyanga engayanga exesheni. Kodwa zikho iimpawu ezizezinye ezibonakala kwiiveki zokuqala. Ukhumbule: ukuze uqiniseke ukuba ukhulelwe ngenene umelwe kukwenza uvavanyo lokujonga oko.
Iimpawu zokuqala zokukhulelwa:
Exesheni awuzukuya ngamandla kungenjalo awuyi konke-konke.
Ubanesicaphu-caphu ugule nangaliphi na ixesha losuku.
Uba neentlungu eziqhelekileyo ezibakho xa uzakuba sexesheni, nangona ulitsibile nje ixesha.
Uziva udiniwe amaxesha amaninzi ngamanye uzive unomsindo.
Amabele akho avakala ethambile kangangokuba ababuhlungu xa kukho umntu okuwolayo.
Awukuthandi ukutya neziselo ezithile. Abanye abantu baliwa nalivumba lokutya okuphekiweyo babe nesicaphu-caphu.
Uchama rhoqo, ebusuku nasemini.
Inganda incindi yelungu lakho langasese eqhelekileyo. [x]
