xhosa.308.yourstories_mother
Ingaba abantwana bam
baseza kundithanda?
Amabhinq' amaninzi azifumana engenacebo limbi ngaphandle kokushiya abantwana babo nezihlobo xa etshata kuba umyeni engenako okanye engafuni ukukhulis' abantwana beny' indoda.
XA uMavis Sambo (37) wayetshaya noVusi kwiminyaka eli-9 edlulileyo, wayecinga ukuba ufumene uthando lokwenene - noyise wabantwana bakhe ababini abafumene engekatshati. Kodwa kwiingxoxo zelobolo kwathiwa abantwana baza kuba sisiphazamiso emtshatweni.
Yamothusa loo nto uMavis: "Sisathandana uVusi wayengenangxaki naba bantwana, ebathanda ngathi babakhe."
Ngoku wayesithi kuhle bahlale nooyise okanye nooninakhulu babo, kuba bona baza kuwazi amasiko amel' ukwenzelwa abantwana.
UMavis wagqibela ebashiya nonina abantwana bakhe.Kwaye oko kwenza kwanzima ukunxulumana kwabo.
"Sebekhulile ngoku, bayeza bazondibona ngamaxesh' athile, kwaye ndiyababona emehlweni abo ukuba banesikrokro sokuba andibahoyanga, kodwa akukho nto ndingayenza. Ndiyathemba baza kuyiqonda imeko yam bakuba badala," utsho.
Amabhinqa amaninzi azibona engenacebo limbi ngaphandle kokushiy' abantwana babo nezihlobo xa etshata kuba abayeni bengenako okanye bengafuni ukukhulisa abantwana beny' indoda.
UMoses Twala weKara Heritage Institute eliziko elijongene neenkqubo zesintu, uthi ukunyanzela amabhinqa ukuba ashiye abantwana xa etshata akukho kwizithethe zase-Afrika.
"Thina ma-Afrika sikholelwa ekubeni abantwana abazalwe ngaphandle komtshato ngabakulonina. Kodwa ixesha elininzi xa indoda ithatha umfazi imthatha nabantwana bakhe ukuze babenoyise," utsho uMoses.
Ukholelwa ukuba indoda "engabenzi abayo" abantwana benkosikazi yayo ayinakonwaba emtshatweni.
"Ukuba indoda inyanzela ibhinqa ukuba lishiye abantwana balo kuba ingabafuni, iza kwenza kubekho ukungonwabi kweso sibini. Kungangabi njalo kanjani?"
"Ukungakhuliswa ngumama kuba enosapho olutsha kungenza umntwana angazazi. Kaloku abazazi ukuba ngabaphi," utsho uMfundisi Gracewell Msimango webandla iGracewell Ministries eVosloorus.
Oomama abathethe neBONA basinike izizathu eziliqela ezenza bashiya abantwana babo emakhaya xa betshata.
Abanye babesoyika ukuba abantwana babo, ingakumbi amantombazana, bangaphathwa kakubi ngabayeni.
Abanye babona kungalunganga ukusa abantwana endaweni entsha, bengaqinisekanga nokuba baza konwaba na, kuba iintsapho ezinjalo ixesha elininzi azivani, ingakumbi xa uyise womntwana esenenxaxheba ekukhulisweni komntwana wakhe.
UChristina Mothlale (34) wamshiya owakhe nonina xa wayetshata kwiminyaka emithandathu edlulileyo. Intombi yakhe yayineminyaka elithoba ngelo xesha kwaye iqhele ukuhlala namabhinqa kuphela.
"Ndabona ngathi iza kungamonwabisi into yokuba azibone sele enotata," utsho uChristina.
Intombi yakhe ngoku ine-15 kwaye banobuhlobo obuhle, utsho uChristina.
Ngokwengcali yengqondo, uPuseletso Dlukulu ojongene nokucebisa iintsapho ngemitshato, iintsapho zingagqiba kwelokwenza ngolu hlobo ukuze ibhinqa elo liqale ubomi obutsha ngaphandle kweziphazamiso, ingakumbi ukuba umyeni akazimiselanga ukukhulisa abantwana abangengobakhe.
Kodwa ayingawo onke amadoda anjalo.
ULufuno Madonsela (40) uthi umyeni wakhe wayezimisele ukukhulisa intombi yakhe. Kodwa kwaba nguye ongazange avume kuba umama wakhe wayemthanda kakhulu umzukulwana wakhe.
"Ndikuphela komntwana ekhaya, ngoko ndandingenak' ukushiya umama ndithathe nomntwana, ashiyeke yedwa," utsho uLufuno.
Le nto ingasebenza ukuba abantwana bahoyiwe, banendawo yokuhlala, ukutya, iimpahla, kwaye bayafunda.
Kodwa ke, uPuseletso ulumkisa ngokuba abantwana bayalufuna uthando lukanina.
Uthi abantwana abangayivayo "imfudumalo" yolo thando abakhuli kakuhle yaye bababuthathaka emoyeni.
Ukwahlukaniswa nonina kuwachaphazela ngokwahlukileyo amakhwenkwe namantombazana.
Umzekelo, inkwenkwe inganengxaki namabhinqa xa sele indala.
Amantombazana kweliny' icala, asenokungachaphazeleki kakhulu, kuba ayakhawuleza ukukhula, okanye ke ayakwazi ukusondela kubagcini bawo.
"Amantombazana adla ngokuba ngabahlobo koonina ahoye kakhulu iintsapho zabo ezintsha kanti wona amakhwenkwe aziva ngathi alahliwe, abenomsindo kodwa angazibonakalisi," utsho uPuseletso. [x]
Umbhali: Kamogelo Sebola
IBONA IYAPHANDA
Xa indoda itshata ibhinqa elinaba-ntwana ifanele ibamkele ize iba-khulise njenga-bayo
Ingaba abantwana bam baseza kundithanda?
USENGABA NGUYE UMAMA OLUNGILEYO!
Qhagamshelana nabo:
Xa ungenakubabona rhoqo abantwana bakho, ukubatsalela umnxeba nokuthumela iiSMS kukugcina usondelene nabo.
Chitha ixesha nomntwana wakho:
Yibani nemini ekhethekileyo eniza kubonana rhoqo ngayo ukuze umntwana akulindele. Umzekelo nisenokugqiba kwelokuzonwabisa ngosuku lwakhe lokuzalwa.
Zibandakanye kwizinto zesikolo:
Uphando lombutho weZizwe eziManyeneyo lubonisa ukuba
abantwana abangahlali noonina (kunye nooyise) abakhuthazeki esikolweni, okanye bayeka phakathi. Ngoko qiniseka ukuba uyamkhuthaza kwaye uyamxhasa emsebenzini wesikolo nize nicwangcise nekamva lakhe naye.
Mfake ebomini bakho:
Mazise ngokwenzeka ebomini bakho.
Khumbula iimvakalelo zabo:
Mcacisele umntwana wakho ukuba kutheni engahlali nawe kwaye uqiniseke ukuba akalibali ukuba uyakusoloko ebalulekile kuwe.
Imali:
Xa kusiziwa kwinkxaso yemali, qiniseka ukuba uyifaka rhoqo, qiniseka ukuba usoloko usithi chatha intwana xa unako.
UChristina Mothlale washiya umntwana wakhe nonina ukutshata kwakhe nomyeni wakhe weminyaka emithandathu.
